Wide Awake and Dreaming
Jul. 3rd, 2001 02:20 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
rinueI ought to be sleeping, as I will be driving for god knows how many hours tomorrow, roadtripping down from my parents' in Boston to my Uncle's in Dallas. (I intend to do this in two days, which is pushing it.) Ordinarily, I would be more leisurely about this - ordinarily, I would be staying in Boston through the 4th of July (they do it better here than anywhere else), but my aeternal companion Valancy is under pressure from her family to get home as soon as possible. (They're all insane. And not in a good way. I like them, and am often considered one of them, but I say this with complete sincerity.)
Valancy bears a bit of explanation. I neither have the time nor the energy to tell you who she is, but I *can* summarize who she is in relation to me. I could say that she is my best friend, but she moved beyond that years ago. I could say that she is my wife, but there is nothing romantic or sexual between us, nor is there interest in such on either side. Sister is also a poor description, as we do not intend to ever live apart - although there is a touch of that inevitable connection.
(Sometimes, I think that we are the worst possible mates for each other - my scientific rationality is often interpreted as cruelty, and reminds her of her father. Her emotion leads her to mother people, which frees me to be horribly maudlin. Moreover, we never agree on movies, music, books, or even what color the house should be.)
It is likely that I will discuss this in more detail at a future date, as it is something that is everpresent. However, for now, in an attempt to wear myself out, I shall fill out parts of that dreadful survey that Khirsah, Ailei, and Dee have completed. I'll only do the interesting parts, though, as I feel that most of the questions were included simply to make things longer. Perhaps the idea is that the prolonged ordeal will make you feel closer to your unit of friends, much like boot camp. I've never gone in for that nonsense, being a GDI (God Damn Independent).
THE SURVEY OF DOOM
Full name: The naming of things is very important - people are shaped by what you call them. It is no coincidence that the Judeo/Christian God created the world with a word. Words have power. I have noticed that the less I like someone, the more likely it is that I will refer to them by name while speaking to them. If I *strongly* dislike someone, I never refer to them by less than their full name. My friends either receive nicknames, or exist simply as pronouns. All that aside, I don't mind being called by my own name, which is Romie. My other two names don't particularly matter, as I've never identified with them much. Although the middle initial "J" is fairly nice.
Gender: Debatable. I am probably more female than I am male; physically, there is no doubt that I am a woman. However, I share qualities of both sexes. It's not quite the same as being androgynous; I simply trancend gender.
Born: 6th of September, 1980.
Handles: Romie, Rinue, Guildenstern. Romie is actually me - the other two are characters. You see, Valancy and I e-mailed constantly when we were apart, and now live together, but we both enjoy letters very much and have wonderful stationary and dip pens and seals. So we invented people who write to each other. Rinue is a cleric for the Order of Solaris, Guildenstern is a spymaster.
Lives in: I have gypsy veins. I tend to crash on people's sofas, or even preempt their beds. Current centers of activity are Boston, Dallas, and DC - especially Dallas and the surrounding areas.
Starsign: Virgo, the most often misinterpreted. I've never decided whether I believe in starsigns. I certainly don't believe in horoscopes, but one can't rule out the influence of gravity on a person's psyche. If one is born at a certain time of year, with planets in a certain place, and the brain is more than 80% water, the tides could be affected *somehow*. There's certainly no better explanation for personality that I know, although I'd love to hear one.
School: University of North Texas, majoring in Economics with a minor in Psychology.
Pets: Don't really believe in them. I like animals, but I like them free.
Where are you from?: Dallas, but I've lived all over the place. Moved a *lot* as a kid.
What color are your eyes?: Green
Haircolor: Dark wheat blond
Piercing/Tattoos: No piercings. A small black fleur de lis on my inner left wrist. It's my seal, you see. I've always sealed my letters with a fleur de lis, and embroidered it on shirt collars in lieu of nametags. So it's a sign that I own myself. It's on my wrist so that I can extend my marker to people while shaking their hands; my left so that I can keep it back if I don't want to. Besides, what fun are tattoos if you can't look at them? I got this for me.
Marital status: Well, there's Valancy, and there's a certain committment there. But I'm not romantically involved with anyone.
"NORMAL"
1. Are you a Virgin? No. I was for a long time, but then I realized that I was starting to fear it, and I find fear a completely useless emotion. So I slept with a friend of mine who I trusted. Aside from that, I'd been in a very sexual nine month relationship with a woman, and it irritated me that by society's standards that didn't count.
2. Are you a right or a lefty or an ambidextrous? I write with my right hand, but tend to favor my left in other areas. I come close to being ambidexterous due to many many years as a pianist.
3. What are your personality traits? Analytical, a bit maniacal, a touch obsessive, adamantly idiosyncratic.
7. What does your name mean? "Victorious Battle Maiden" or "From the most high mountain" according to the only two sources I've ever found that spell it right. I'm named after my mother's father, who was a paranoid scizophrenic with homicidal tendencies, but was always nice to me. So what if he wanted to kill the Dallas Civic Opera? He gave me hersey's kisses whenever I went to see him. Besides, he was a damn good musician. And he was a conciencious objector during WWII, so he did semaphore (flag signaling) for the Navy. He was named after his father, who was the architect who designed the triple underpass where JFK was shot. Nobody knows who he was named after, because he'd never tell us where he came from, just that he was proud to have come across the US in a covered wagon. (The running theory is that it's because he was quite racist and suspected that we had "impure" blood; black and jewish facial features tend to show up in our family.)
9. Do you have an accent? LOL No. I sound pretty much like an NPR commentator. I can affect accents from just about anywhere, I just have to hear them. Dialects are fun.
10. Do you believe in God? I follow the teachings of the Tao Te Ching. This does not precisely preclude believing in God, but it's not a question that's particularly important to me. I'll find out when I find out. Or not. I figure one should be kind and loving and tolerant because it's the right thing to do, not because some higher authority tells you to or out of some fear or later retribution. This is the problem I have with most belief systems. I tend to say that I am Taoist, but I don't like the direction that Taoism took when they turned it into a religion and became obsessed with immortality. It's like the people that messed up Jesus' teachings and turned it into the church.
11. Do you go to church? Sometimes, LOL. This would seem in direct opposition to my previous rant, but I really enjoy singing in the choir, and I do like the people. It also involves my "conquer from within" bent. We need more active heretics. Unquestioned faith is worthless. (I do, however, admire people with spiritual sides, and have a deep respect for most religions.)
35. Ever been in love? Deeply and rather permanently, I'm afraid. This is probably why I have trouble reading Sirius/Remus fics. I *did* fall in love with my best friend at age 12 (and no, it's not Val, it's someone else), and it was *horrible* and I've worked ever since then to get over it, to the point where we didn't talk for several years after a terrible betrayal on both sides. Eight years from when it started, and we're still drawn together like magnets. It makes both of us very angry, because we should be *over* this by now, and our relationships with other people are inevitably unsatisfying. This is another of those things you're likely to hear more about later.
42. Do you think men and women can ever just be friends without wanting each other? yes and no. I think there's a point in every friendship (and this includes same-gender friendships if one or more of the people involved is bisexual or at least openminded) during which the question is raised. Most times, it is a bad idea, and then the friendship settles down and there *is* no wanting anymore. But there's always that moment of consideration, even if it's never stated aloud.
48. Did you ever have a crush on a cartoon character? Constantly. Starting with Cheetara on the Thundercats, and most recently Tuxedo Mask on Sailor Moon.
58. Is the glass half empty of half full? Both. Things are rarely just one way.
59. Which came first-The chicken or the egg? The egg - I believe in evolution.
62. What's on your walls in your room? An oil painting of Job that was done by my friend Jens. (I later found out that the model was a guy I dated for about a month.) It's in a style that's a cross between expressionism and another style who's name I've suddenly forgotten, to my extreme embarrasment. (It's late). An oil painting of a bottle sitting on crumpled tinfoil, also very expressionist, by my friend Jamie. An oil painting of a man in a devil mask by a friend of my uncle's. A pencil drawing of a harlequin that my uncle did when he was in high school. A stained glass clock.
69. Say one nice thing about the person who sent this to you:
Dee - It amazes me that Dee can believe that she is inferior to *anyone*, because she's a wonderful artist, a talented writer, and incredibly intelligent. I defy anyone to do better.
Khirsah - As well as writing wonderful fantasy, Khirsah can create buzz like no one else. She makes everyone very excited to be a part of whatever she does. She has a noble heart and a stubborn adorableness.
Ailei - One of those people that people like me hope to be like when they grow up. She has awesome kids, and maintains her own level of badassedness. Aside from all that, she's an astute judge of character, and an inspiring conversationalist.
93. Are you a vegetarian? I have vegan tendencies, but I don't draw a hard line. It's more of a preference than anything else. Raising livestock is an inefficient use of resources. So is most commercial farming, which is why I frequent farmers' markets when possible.
104. Where do you see yourself in 10 years? Sitting on my front porch with a glass of iced tea. The rest is incidental.
116/117. Future son/daughter names: Nicodemus, Lucifer, and Morrigan in that order regardless of gender. Valancy thinks this is horrible and amounts to child abuse. (Valancy is horrified by much of what I do.) We'll see what actually happens.
124. Which one, Coke or Pepsi? I hate cola. Don't really care for soda in general. If you ever catch me drinking a Coke, it's a sure sign that I'm incredibly angry about something. I drink the Coke because it's bitter and cloying and I hate it and hopefully I'll transfer my rage to the beverage instead of tearing someone apart psychologically (something I'm disturbingly good at) or physically (see previous parenthesis). This is pretty rare, though. It's been . . . I'd say 2 years since I've really been angry at anyone other than myself, and just as long since I've had to drink Coke. (The coke thing really does work, by the way. Since I started doing it, I don't think I've hurt anyone intentionally.) Understand that it is nearly impossible to make me angry.
126. What's your favorite room in the house? I have an affection for stairways, bathrooms, and landings. They're not proper rooms, you see. They don't belong to the rest of the house. Stairs don't even belong to a particular floor.
131. What's the best number in the world? 8. It's the symbol of infinity, and the number of valence electrons in noble gasses. And it's easy to divide a circle into eight pieces.
156. Pro-life or Pro-choice? I don't like abortion. I would never get one myself, and it saddens me that people feel the need to. But to legislate against it more strongly than we already do would be a mistake - it will cause more deaths in the long run. Getting an abortion is a desperate thing, and is something that women will do whether or not there is a doctor to help them. And if there is no doctor, the woman is likely to die too. Besides, you know an underground of illegal abortion doctors will emerge, and they'll cater only to the wealthy women who could afford to keep a baby, not to the poor ones who have more of a justification.
162. Would you rather be short or tall? Short. I tend to like caves and other small enclosed spaces like submarines. I also like running around old ships and castles, which tend to have low ceilings.
181. Favourite smell? ginger, or possibly garlic
184. Thunderstorms cool or scary? I love storms. I tend to sit outside and watch them, much to the despair of the people who worry for my saftey.
185. What is your favorite quote? I keep a small notebook with me to write them down as I run across them. Unfortunately, it is in the other room, where Valancy is sleeping.
187. If you could dye your hair one color, what would it be? I've had my hair every color of the rainbow. It probably looked best pink, but dark green was also quite nice, as was lavender.
189. If you could turn into an animal real or imaginary, what would you be? The barn owl, also known as "ghost owl" or "spirit owl". Research them - they're fascinating, as is the mythology surrounding them. I have always identified with them very closely, and suspect that I could shapeshift into one if I tried hard enough and had the right teacher.
190. If you could meet one person in the world who would it be, Living and nonliving? Jim Henson. He was the man.
Valancy bears a bit of explanation. I neither have the time nor the energy to tell you who she is, but I *can* summarize who she is in relation to me. I could say that she is my best friend, but she moved beyond that years ago. I could say that she is my wife, but there is nothing romantic or sexual between us, nor is there interest in such on either side. Sister is also a poor description, as we do not intend to ever live apart - although there is a touch of that inevitable connection.
(Sometimes, I think that we are the worst possible mates for each other - my scientific rationality is often interpreted as cruelty, and reminds her of her father. Her emotion leads her to mother people, which frees me to be horribly maudlin. Moreover, we never agree on movies, music, books, or even what color the house should be.)
It is likely that I will discuss this in more detail at a future date, as it is something that is everpresent. However, for now, in an attempt to wear myself out, I shall fill out parts of that dreadful survey that Khirsah, Ailei, and Dee have completed. I'll only do the interesting parts, though, as I feel that most of the questions were included simply to make things longer. Perhaps the idea is that the prolonged ordeal will make you feel closer to your unit of friends, much like boot camp. I've never gone in for that nonsense, being a GDI (God Damn Independent).
THE SURVEY OF DOOM
Full name: The naming of things is very important - people are shaped by what you call them. It is no coincidence that the Judeo/Christian God created the world with a word. Words have power. I have noticed that the less I like someone, the more likely it is that I will refer to them by name while speaking to them. If I *strongly* dislike someone, I never refer to them by less than their full name. My friends either receive nicknames, or exist simply as pronouns. All that aside, I don't mind being called by my own name, which is Romie. My other two names don't particularly matter, as I've never identified with them much. Although the middle initial "J" is fairly nice.
Gender: Debatable. I am probably more female than I am male; physically, there is no doubt that I am a woman. However, I share qualities of both sexes. It's not quite the same as being androgynous; I simply trancend gender.
Born: 6th of September, 1980.
Handles: Romie, Rinue, Guildenstern. Romie is actually me - the other two are characters. You see, Valancy and I e-mailed constantly when we were apart, and now live together, but we both enjoy letters very much and have wonderful stationary and dip pens and seals. So we invented people who write to each other. Rinue is a cleric for the Order of Solaris, Guildenstern is a spymaster.
Lives in: I have gypsy veins. I tend to crash on people's sofas, or even preempt their beds. Current centers of activity are Boston, Dallas, and DC - especially Dallas and the surrounding areas.
Starsign: Virgo, the most often misinterpreted. I've never decided whether I believe in starsigns. I certainly don't believe in horoscopes, but one can't rule out the influence of gravity on a person's psyche. If one is born at a certain time of year, with planets in a certain place, and the brain is more than 80% water, the tides could be affected *somehow*. There's certainly no better explanation for personality that I know, although I'd love to hear one.
School: University of North Texas, majoring in Economics with a minor in Psychology.
Pets: Don't really believe in them. I like animals, but I like them free.
Where are you from?: Dallas, but I've lived all over the place. Moved a *lot* as a kid.
What color are your eyes?: Green
Haircolor: Dark wheat blond
Piercing/Tattoos: No piercings. A small black fleur de lis on my inner left wrist. It's my seal, you see. I've always sealed my letters with a fleur de lis, and embroidered it on shirt collars in lieu of nametags. So it's a sign that I own myself. It's on my wrist so that I can extend my marker to people while shaking their hands; my left so that I can keep it back if I don't want to. Besides, what fun are tattoos if you can't look at them? I got this for me.
Marital status: Well, there's Valancy, and there's a certain committment there. But I'm not romantically involved with anyone.
"NORMAL"
1. Are you a Virgin? No. I was for a long time, but then I realized that I was starting to fear it, and I find fear a completely useless emotion. So I slept with a friend of mine who I trusted. Aside from that, I'd been in a very sexual nine month relationship with a woman, and it irritated me that by society's standards that didn't count.
2. Are you a right or a lefty or an ambidextrous? I write with my right hand, but tend to favor my left in other areas. I come close to being ambidexterous due to many many years as a pianist.
3. What are your personality traits? Analytical, a bit maniacal, a touch obsessive, adamantly idiosyncratic.
7. What does your name mean? "Victorious Battle Maiden" or "From the most high mountain" according to the only two sources I've ever found that spell it right. I'm named after my mother's father, who was a paranoid scizophrenic with homicidal tendencies, but was always nice to me. So what if he wanted to kill the Dallas Civic Opera? He gave me hersey's kisses whenever I went to see him. Besides, he was a damn good musician. And he was a conciencious objector during WWII, so he did semaphore (flag signaling) for the Navy. He was named after his father, who was the architect who designed the triple underpass where JFK was shot. Nobody knows who he was named after, because he'd never tell us where he came from, just that he was proud to have come across the US in a covered wagon. (The running theory is that it's because he was quite racist and suspected that we had "impure" blood; black and jewish facial features tend to show up in our family.)
9. Do you have an accent? LOL No. I sound pretty much like an NPR commentator. I can affect accents from just about anywhere, I just have to hear them. Dialects are fun.
10. Do you believe in God? I follow the teachings of the Tao Te Ching. This does not precisely preclude believing in God, but it's not a question that's particularly important to me. I'll find out when I find out. Or not. I figure one should be kind and loving and tolerant because it's the right thing to do, not because some higher authority tells you to or out of some fear or later retribution. This is the problem I have with most belief systems. I tend to say that I am Taoist, but I don't like the direction that Taoism took when they turned it into a religion and became obsessed with immortality. It's like the people that messed up Jesus' teachings and turned it into the church.
11. Do you go to church? Sometimes, LOL. This would seem in direct opposition to my previous rant, but I really enjoy singing in the choir, and I do like the people. It also involves my "conquer from within" bent. We need more active heretics. Unquestioned faith is worthless. (I do, however, admire people with spiritual sides, and have a deep respect for most religions.)
35. Ever been in love? Deeply and rather permanently, I'm afraid. This is probably why I have trouble reading Sirius/Remus fics. I *did* fall in love with my best friend at age 12 (and no, it's not Val, it's someone else), and it was *horrible* and I've worked ever since then to get over it, to the point where we didn't talk for several years after a terrible betrayal on both sides. Eight years from when it started, and we're still drawn together like magnets. It makes both of us very angry, because we should be *over* this by now, and our relationships with other people are inevitably unsatisfying. This is another of those things you're likely to hear more about later.
42. Do you think men and women can ever just be friends without wanting each other? yes and no. I think there's a point in every friendship (and this includes same-gender friendships if one or more of the people involved is bisexual or at least openminded) during which the question is raised. Most times, it is a bad idea, and then the friendship settles down and there *is* no wanting anymore. But there's always that moment of consideration, even if it's never stated aloud.
48. Did you ever have a crush on a cartoon character? Constantly. Starting with Cheetara on the Thundercats, and most recently Tuxedo Mask on Sailor Moon.
58. Is the glass half empty of half full? Both. Things are rarely just one way.
59. Which came first-The chicken or the egg? The egg - I believe in evolution.
62. What's on your walls in your room? An oil painting of Job that was done by my friend Jens. (I later found out that the model was a guy I dated for about a month.) It's in a style that's a cross between expressionism and another style who's name I've suddenly forgotten, to my extreme embarrasment. (It's late). An oil painting of a bottle sitting on crumpled tinfoil, also very expressionist, by my friend Jamie. An oil painting of a man in a devil mask by a friend of my uncle's. A pencil drawing of a harlequin that my uncle did when he was in high school. A stained glass clock.
69. Say one nice thing about the person who sent this to you:
Dee - It amazes me that Dee can believe that she is inferior to *anyone*, because she's a wonderful artist, a talented writer, and incredibly intelligent. I defy anyone to do better.
Khirsah - As well as writing wonderful fantasy, Khirsah can create buzz like no one else. She makes everyone very excited to be a part of whatever she does. She has a noble heart and a stubborn adorableness.
Ailei - One of those people that people like me hope to be like when they grow up. She has awesome kids, and maintains her own level of badassedness. Aside from all that, she's an astute judge of character, and an inspiring conversationalist.
93. Are you a vegetarian? I have vegan tendencies, but I don't draw a hard line. It's more of a preference than anything else. Raising livestock is an inefficient use of resources. So is most commercial farming, which is why I frequent farmers' markets when possible.
104. Where do you see yourself in 10 years? Sitting on my front porch with a glass of iced tea. The rest is incidental.
116/117. Future son/daughter names: Nicodemus, Lucifer, and Morrigan in that order regardless of gender. Valancy thinks this is horrible and amounts to child abuse. (Valancy is horrified by much of what I do.) We'll see what actually happens.
124. Which one, Coke or Pepsi? I hate cola. Don't really care for soda in general. If you ever catch me drinking a Coke, it's a sure sign that I'm incredibly angry about something. I drink the Coke because it's bitter and cloying and I hate it and hopefully I'll transfer my rage to the beverage instead of tearing someone apart psychologically (something I'm disturbingly good at) or physically (see previous parenthesis). This is pretty rare, though. It's been . . . I'd say 2 years since I've really been angry at anyone other than myself, and just as long since I've had to drink Coke. (The coke thing really does work, by the way. Since I started doing it, I don't think I've hurt anyone intentionally.) Understand that it is nearly impossible to make me angry.
126. What's your favorite room in the house? I have an affection for stairways, bathrooms, and landings. They're not proper rooms, you see. They don't belong to the rest of the house. Stairs don't even belong to a particular floor.
131. What's the best number in the world? 8. It's the symbol of infinity, and the number of valence electrons in noble gasses. And it's easy to divide a circle into eight pieces.
156. Pro-life or Pro-choice? I don't like abortion. I would never get one myself, and it saddens me that people feel the need to. But to legislate against it more strongly than we already do would be a mistake - it will cause more deaths in the long run. Getting an abortion is a desperate thing, and is something that women will do whether or not there is a doctor to help them. And if there is no doctor, the woman is likely to die too. Besides, you know an underground of illegal abortion doctors will emerge, and they'll cater only to the wealthy women who could afford to keep a baby, not to the poor ones who have more of a justification.
162. Would you rather be short or tall? Short. I tend to like caves and other small enclosed spaces like submarines. I also like running around old ships and castles, which tend to have low ceilings.
181. Favourite smell? ginger, or possibly garlic
184. Thunderstorms cool or scary? I love storms. I tend to sit outside and watch them, much to the despair of the people who worry for my saftey.
185. What is your favorite quote? I keep a small notebook with me to write them down as I run across them. Unfortunately, it is in the other room, where Valancy is sleeping.
187. If you could dye your hair one color, what would it be? I've had my hair every color of the rainbow. It probably looked best pink, but dark green was also quite nice, as was lavender.
189. If you could turn into an animal real or imaginary, what would you be? The barn owl, also known as "ghost owl" or "spirit owl". Research them - they're fascinating, as is the mythology surrounding them. I have always identified with them very closely, and suspect that I could shapeshift into one if I tried hard enough and had the right teacher.
190. If you could meet one person in the world who would it be, Living and nonliving? Jim Henson. He was the man.
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from the resident voyeur
Date: 2001-07-11 08:52 am (UTC)i think lucifer is a beautiful name, for a boy or a girl. i'd just worry people would shorten it to lucy, which would make me irritable. you know, though, i wish lucius sounded better spoken aloud, because it looks deceptively lovely in print.
Re: from the resident voyeur
Date: 2001-07-11 01:49 pm (UTC)And I always figured I'd shorten Lucifer to "Cipher" and Nicodemus to "Code." Aren't word games fun?
Re: from the resident voyeur
Date: 2001-07-12 07:42 am (UTC)mhm. cipher. very nice. i just spent some time a few weeks ago reading about literal ciphers. (and decided that a simple one is going to be the key to a Snape potion exam, which Draco will solve as i'm sure he's quite familiar with them; Dark Arts have to keep their secrets)