addendum (misattribution grumble)

[rinue]

I should probably at least be reassured that misattributions are normal. There has been a dramatic increase in even the last week of the percentage of my facebook comments that directly employ cult extraction techniques (hmm, it seems like you are worried about this, and I care about you. How do you reconcile [huge gap in conspiracy theory]?) and suicide hotline language.

Comments

[sovay]

There has been a dramatic increase in even the last week of the percentage of my facebook comments that directly employ cult extraction techniques (hmm, it seems like you are worried about this, and I care about you. How do you reconcile [huge gap in conspiracy theory]?) and suicide hotline language.

That sounds distressing.

[rinue]

That sounds distressing.

Probably? I know my back muscles have been tense. At the moment, it feels utilitarian to me, like it's not my responsibility (in other words, I don't need to take it on as stress or try to predict how it will turn out) but I have this extra capacity in the present moment which may be of benefit. Another way to put it is I'm worried for everybody but it's not their fault or my fault, it's an indicator of higher up dysfunction.

So many weeks in the last four years have been so bad! But this one seems to be hitting people even harder, often in ways I've already worked through, and maybe that they have also worked through but now are out of energy having to confront again.

[sovay]

At the moment, it feels utilitarian to me, like it's not my responsibility (in other words, I don't need to take it on as stress or try to predict how it will turn out) but I have this extra capacity in the present moment which may be of benefit.

I misread your original statement, in that I thought it referred to comments on your Facebook rather than comments you were leaving for other people, which I would also have said something about, but probably "stressful" rather than "distressing." I am glad it is something you can do without adding further load to yourself.

[rinue]

That's a certainly a fair interpretation of what I wrote, and it is good that it's not what's happening - that would be really scary.

Either way, I'm not saying "possibly" like "how could you think that" - I know from experience that I do the reverse of the "feelings stage and then solutions oriented." In a crisis I go straight into problem solving and then have a breakdown later when I know everyone is safe. So I'm quite calm and productive and happy right now, in a way that doesn't make a lot of sense. I have some external clues that I'm on borrowed time with that, and that my emotional response or lack of emotional response is not altogether trustworthy.