Finally, a Comic Entry
Feb. 6th, 2002 01:28 pm[At 3:00, my mother calls]
Mom: I've figured out the problem you're having with the bank.
Me: Oh!
Mom: You're Yossarian.
Me: That's the problem?
Mom: Yes. You're Yossarian, and you'd be a lot happier as Milo
Minderbinder. Go to.
Me: And you, as Orr, are advising me?
Mom: Yeah, pretty much.
Me: Damn. This metaphor means Valancy dies, doesn't it?
Mom: Yes; we'll be very mournful, especially since she's killed by
our own guys, but these things happen.
[Later]
Val: Goddamnit! You better actually notice I'm
holding my entrails instead of trying to fix my arm! If I'm
cold, it's all your fault!
Me: That's not how you die! (pause) Is it?
Val: I figured I was the kid.
Me: Oh, you are. I just thought you were sliced in half by a low-
flying plane.
Val: No, that's the other kid! I figured he was Patrick!
Me: No, he's Patrick Patrick Patrick Patrick and jumps out of
windows a lot. You'll just have to be both the kids and die
twice.
Val: You're fuckin' evil, man. Does that make me
Milo?
Me: No, the whole point is that I'm supposed to be. Only I'm
really Yossarian.
Val: Inescapably. Definitively. We pity you.
Me: Fuckin' A.
[The Target cashier rips off his disguize, revealing a knife-wielding woman who tries to kill Romie.]
Mom: I've figured out the problem you're having with the bank.
Me: Oh!
Mom: You're Yossarian.
Me: That's the problem?
Mom: Yes. You're Yossarian, and you'd be a lot happier as Milo
Minderbinder. Go to.
Me: And you, as Orr, are advising me?
Mom: Yeah, pretty much.
Me: Damn. This metaphor means Valancy dies, doesn't it?
Mom: Yes; we'll be very mournful, especially since she's killed by
our own guys, but these things happen.
[Later]
Val: Goddamnit! You better actually notice I'm
holding my entrails instead of trying to fix my arm! If I'm
cold, it's all your fault!
Me: That's not how you die! (pause) Is it?
Val: I figured I was the kid.
Me: Oh, you are. I just thought you were sliced in half by a low-
flying plane.
Val: No, that's the other kid! I figured he was Patrick!
Me: No, he's Patrick Patrick Patrick Patrick and jumps out of
windows a lot. You'll just have to be both the kids and die
twice.
Val: You're fuckin' evil, man. Does that make me
Milo?
Me: No, the whole point is that I'm supposed to be. Only I'm
really Yossarian.
Val: Inescapably. Definitively. We pity you.
Me: Fuckin' A.
[The Target cashier rips off his disguize, revealing a knife-wielding woman who tries to kill Romie.]
(no subject)
Date: 2002-02-06 08:47 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2002-02-07 12:33 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2002-02-07 07:02 am (UTC)-Romie
(no subject)
Date: 2002-02-07 08:33 am (UTC)::wanders off to twat head repeatedly against wall::