Voyeur in my own life

[rinue]

Growing up as the relatively introverted one in an extended family of performers and maniacs, I sort of automatically fell into the role of documentarian and promoter. My come-on line has never been "you want to be with me" so much as "if you're with me, you'll get to witness the scintillating theatre that is my family." Once a guy (or girl) catches on to this, we stop going out to movies or concerts; we just wait around the house for inevitable hijinks.

I've never had any one great talent, or even a unique viewpoint. My major skill seems to be finding two obscure things in two unrelated disciplines and drawing a paralell that somehow solves an otherwise insurmountable problem. Resumes will always be a problem for me; it's never that I'm the most experienced applicant for the job, but that I'm the only one who knows both how to rewire a lightswitch and how to arrange Baroque figured bass -- which will inexplicably be totally neccessary when you're drying to pour concrete evenly.

I never wanted to be Jack Kerouac or Ken Kesey or Tom Wolfe; I wanted to be Neal Cassady. I want to be that sparkling individual people base characters on just to steal some of the magic for their books. I don't need to be David Bowie or Lou Reed or Iggy Pop . . . just Brian Eno, or even Brian Ferry. Jon Brion instead of Aimee Mann or Fiona Apple or Rufus Wainwright. Not neccessarily famous. Not neccessarily loved, or successful, or even understood. Just uncontrivedly irreplaceable, someone without whom things would be importantly different. Just more than a messenger and a set of eyes.

Comments

[valancy.livejournal.com]

The crushed fox? Makes kittens weep.

*hugs*

Just got home, been running errands/saving world etc. You are sick? How sick? What happened to crush the fox? *hugshugs*

[rinue.livejournal.com]

I don't know. I just feel all crumpled up. I'm sick, and Patrick's sick, and John backed out of getting an apartment with us so I'm back to square one in the apartment hunting, (which is particularly lame because we'd found a place we really liked), and the Campbell Agency seems to not want me, and I just don't want to get out of bed ever again, and I don't know that I could even if I did want to.

Glad to hear you've been saving the world, though. I mean, an apolcalypse would be pretty inconvenient for a lot of people. Imagine how badly it would mess up traffic.

I'd love to have you come over and, I don't know, watch me heat up soup, but it's probably a better idea for you to stay away and not get sick. My throat is really sore, so I can't talk anyway. Don't worry about it, though - it's just a cold, and I'm adequately medicated for the moment.

love,
Romie

[achates.livejournal.com]

To my way of thinking, it is probably very common for such figures to not believe in their own importance. Or perhaps not to see it.

Rome-y

[(Anonymous)]

Uniting separate talents was also a purview of the Roman Empire. Phonetic intensive, perhaps?

Tzarcasm (http://tzarcasm.diaryland.com)