Shivved with a Print Cartridge

[rinue]

I nearly attacked a printer today. I stopped myself because Patrick would've had to pull me off of it and I can take him in a fight. I'm allowed to say that even though it's true and even though he's a blackbelt, because it's something he likes about me. It's very reassuring to know there's someone who loves you who can take you out if you completely lose it. Uncle Rex is that for me.

This is a non-sequitor, but I realized yesterday that at any given time I am breaking the law in at least three ways -- very likely more. On a day-to-day note, I'm talking about fraud, tax evasion, collusion in drug trafficking, copyright and trademark infringement, flagrant speeding, the dissemination of pornography, sodomy, parking on the wrong side of the street, and general moral turpetude. This doesn't even begin to include the times I go the wrong way down one-way streets, provide alcohol to minors, steal from friends and employers, or cook up elaborate and unprofitable confidence scams.

I don't exactly know how to react to this; pride seems inappropriate, but then so does apology.

Comments

[(Anonymous)]

I suppose the only thing to do is tape yourself having anal sex with a bank teller, whom you intend to have cash a check you've forged that will allow you to buy three kilos of a new narcotic you've decided to call "Sweet'n'low", in the back of a car doing ninety on the left side of a residential street and going away from a friend's house from which you've liberated a twelve pack which is in the passenger seat being drunk by a twelve-year old boy who looks exactly like the governor's son, and then distribute the tape freely over the internet.

You'll have to work in tax evasion, parking on the wrong side of the street, and moral turpetude on your own.

-Chad