Skywalking

[rinue]

"Write write write," says Patrick, who sits in a chair where the ceiling falls on him. Small white plaster flakes make constellations of his hair.

He is curmudgeonly at the moment; he hasn't slept all week and now he's got something that's almost - but not quite - the flu. His attempts to soldier on with accounting and rehearsals are almost convincing, but the illusion is shattered as soon as he moves. It's slow, like wax dripping into water; he cleaves to walls to keep from falling.

Stubbornly, he refuses to sleep. He's been plagued since last Sunday with terrible nightmares, and wakes up more tired than when he began. I watched over him last night with ice for his fever; twice in his sleep he tried to run, and twice I had to push dreams away before they could form.

He is certain I have a good entry in my head and I don't have the heart to tell him I don't. He needs dreams to muse on, and I can't write him one. Not right now. My day's been a blur of caring - 4:30 and the edges seem cotton-y, like old newspaper. I'm almost afloat on a bed of eucalyptus, eyes soft and tongue coated with baking soda. A waitress is just like a nurse, or a holy man - in each case the trick is no ego.

The byproduct is no unique narrative voice.

I will write tomorrow - this evening - when I am further away from this lack of self.

Comments

[(Anonymous)]

Simple tricks and nonsense, indeed, and may the Force be with you.
I am clever. I pat myself on the back. *pat pat*

-Chad

[hipgunslinger.livejournal.com]

did you phone me this morning?
I have half remembered sleepy conversations with you recently, and I remember it was when I was in bed.
Remember when I told you that I was fantasy prone and would go through spells of not knowing whether or not something has happened?
this is now.

[rinue.livejournal.com]

We did not have a recent conversation, but you may have called either early this morning or the morning before. I don't remember. I just remember that the phone rang once one time and I switched it off because I didn't want to wake the sickly Patrick. If that was you, then I'm sorry for not in fact speaking to you although it seems you may have halucinated a conversation anyway which works just as well in this case for my purposes.

-R