Year in Review: 2018
Feb. 18th, 2019 11:09 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
rinue2017, 2016, 2015 (limited-access appendix), 2014, 2013, 2012, 2011, 2010, 2009, 2008, 2007
1. What did you do in 2018 that you'd never done before?
I saw the Boston Philharmonic Orchestra and the Boston Modern Orchestra Project. (I pretty much always have Boston Symphony Orchestra tickets, but have been branching out to see other orchestras as well.) Ciro and I tried having a weekly date night, with indifferent results. A music video I made was discussed in the New York City gay press and was screened at a nighclub owned by Alan Cumming. I started a company in the UK (a film collective) and designed the logo for said company, DCI, which resembles the way film threads through a 35mm Panaflex camera.
I got a new tattoo, a large diagram of a Saturn V rocket, by artist Stephanie Sheu. I attended a high school reunion. I got a van. Apparently it has 9 gear speeds. Chris Blacker and I started work on a musical but haven't gotten very far. I discovered that someone has animated a section of my "Birthday Song." I had work of mine aired on public access television. I added privacy film to the upstairs bathroom window in an artistic and time-consuming way. I painted a mural on the kitchen wall. I went to t-ball games.
I went to several large protests. One of them was outside an ICE holding facility, and we held up notes for the people inside and they held up notes for us back. Ciro filmed it and his footage was on multiple local news stations. I was very active in registering people to vote and then getting out the vote. I joined Snapchat and Twitter. I installed a spice rack which cleared up a lot of counter space. Ciro bought a coffee maker for the bedroom so there is even more coffee around. Ciro and I stopped even trying to sleep in the same room because his insomnia has been profound and we are currently on very different sleep schedules.
Songs:
"Homosexual Art Attack," voice and synth which I'd categorize as dance/glam, which is the theme song for Romie and James Take a Walk in the Woods.
"Rubber Cement," a country duet about a trial separation
"Catbird Seat," a very short jazz riff with walking bass
"Pig that Flied," a nasal country earworm
all of these have been recorded but none of them have been mixed and therefore you can't hear them.
Shoots:
Romie and James Take a Walk in the Woods (feature, not yet edited), and an instructional video by my sister REL demonstrating how to assemble one of her paper sculptures
Nonfiction:
The 58 Most Worthless Coins in My Piggy Bank, Unranked, at The Billfold
I worked on a lot of scripts and a few short stories, but nothing that is finished or published. A poem was accepted for publication but hasn't run yet. There was a lot of turmoil in my personal life - and a lot of Strange Horizons editorial work. It didn't leave much space for creative work, or at least that's how it feels to me. Even though I did a lot this year, it's hard for me to see past all the stuff I wanted to finish and haven't. On top of that, a lot of the work I've done in the last three years has never seen the light of day because a collaborator or publishing agreement fell through or was delayed, which is frustrating in another way. Mixed up in all that is the stuff I haven't finished yet which is putting other people in the exact same situation.
2. Did you keep your new year's resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
Completed: finished the music video. attended the reunion.
Partial: read books in Italian but they were children's books. I did also watch The Dragon Prince in Italian instead of in English (no subtitles), and when Antonio's girlfriend (who does not speak English) came to visit, I was able to be somewhat friendly. Basically I don't think I'm improving but don't think I'm backsliding horribly.
Not at all: did not edit "Tick Toc Toe" and haven't even finished reviewing the footage. Did not touch the novel. Did not make any progress on making my office nicer, even though I live there now (it's where I sleep).
This year the things I care most about are finishing Tic Toc Toe and finishing several screenplays for DCI. I started a brokerage account at the start of 2019 and would like to build up enough investment income that I can start cutting back on my day job in another two to eight years.
3. Did anyone close to you give birth or get married?
My dear friend Andrea (who was the officiant at my wedding) got married (and had a baby few enough days into 2019 that it's hard for me not to think of it as still 2018). There was a karaoke reception; I sang "500 Miles." My first cousin once removed, Halle, had her second baby, Wren (which is a fantastic name and fits a general bird theme in that branch of the family).
4. Did anyone close to you die?
My last remaining grandparent, Nana (Dorothy). Dad spent a lot of the year in Viriginia taking care of her while she was in hospice. She was 98 or 97, I think, but I'm not sure because she was cagey about her birth year. We inherited her dishes and a blanket (and other things but that's what integrates into my everday life), and several of Roy's things were passed to me (they'd stayed with her while she was alive).
A church and League of Women Voters friend, Anna, was hit by a car and died. Other friends have also been hit by cars but have not died. A lot of SUVs have been speeding down residential streets in our neighborhood to try to cut their commutes. They don't stop for people in crosswalks. It's gotten quite dangerous and enraging.
5. What countries did you visit?
I was mostly in Massachusetts and Texas. I'm not sure I went anywhere else.
6. What would you like to have in 2019 that you lacked in 2018?
Love and affection.
7. What date from 2018 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
November 11, Andrea's wedding. I had a good time but also this is a very easy date for me to remember.
8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
Just managing to hold things together in the face of rage and chaos.
9. What was your biggest failure?
I'm disappointed in how little I've finished.
10. Did you suffer illness or injury?
I had back-to-back colds from November through December; I don't think there were more than a couple of days when I wasn't ill. None of it was serious but it was unrelenting. I had to just say "ok I'm not buying anybody Christmas presents, I don't have the energy" and push a lot of self-imposed deadlines. It was a crummy end to the year. It's taken me from then until now to feel free enough of burnout to be able to sit down and write this.
11. What was the best thing you bought?
Admission to Cidercade, a wonderful pinball hall.
12. Whose behavior merited celebration?
Dad, who was calm and kind for a very long time during something extremely difficult. REL did some very cool artworks.
13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?
White supremacists.
14. Where did most of your money go?
Health insurance. Nobody in the family even got sick, but fully half of my total compensation went to insurance companies, copays for bog standard physicals, and needlessly expensive (price gouging) prescriptions. I fundamentally don't know who these "I like private insurance through my work" people are. People who don't like to look at numbers, I'm guessing.
15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?
This was a pretty anhedonic year. I was glad about all our visitors. My friend Molly is dating a nice guy who I like, Cedric, and it's good to see her happy. I genuinely love a lot of the poems I published as editor at Strange Horizons and have been thrilled to see them get recognition and to see the poets succeed. Also, at Readercon I met a bunch of writers from Brooklyn who I like, and a few writers who I've known and liked from their blogs but can now also know and like in person.
16. What song will always remind you of 2018?
"Nothing Breaks Like a Heart" by Miley Cyrus and Mark Ronson
17. Compared to this time last year, are you happier or sadder?
Sadder.
ii. thinner or fatter?
I'm about three pounds heavier but it's coming back down. I intentionally did some stress eating for a bit, but that's not a long-term thing.
iii. richer or poorer?
I ended 2018 with almost exactly the same bank balance as when I started 2018. Every penny I made went back out the door. I guess some student debt was paid down.
18. What do you wish you'd done more of?
Film editing.
19. What do you wish you'd done less of?
Solving other people's emergencies.
20. How did you spend the holidays?
In Boston. Rex, REL, and Scarlett were there, though not all at the same time. Rabea also stopped by.
23. What was your favorite TV program?
The Terror. I also liked Maniac and Homecoming.
24. Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year?
It's mostly the same people in the administration, but the administration has brought in additional people who I now also hate.
25. What was the best book you read?
Harpo Marx's autobiography, Harpo Speaks!
26. What was your greatest musical discovery?
Boston Modern Orchestra Project
27. What did you want and get?
I asked for panettone and a cannon, and lo, my old friend Diggs bought me panettone and a (wooden but functional) cannon.
28. What did you want and not get?
I hoped Val's novels would come out, but they're not ready yet. (I've read them, obviously. But I want to be able to talk about them with other people.)
I was asked repeatedly to apply for a promotion at work I didn't want because they already knew I qualified, and then was asked to do impossible things to prove to them what they already knew. I have outright refused. I am furious that I was jerked around like that, and have told them I will not be undergoing this process again.
29. What was your favorite film this year?
My favorites were Annihilation and Sorry To Bother You, although I also liked BlacKKKlansman, Suspiria, and The Favourite a good deal. I liked Hereditary. I enjoyed Solo more than I've liked any of the Star Wars movies since the original trilogy. This was a good movie year.
Isle of Dogs was ok. Felt pretty lukewarm about Lizzie, Incredibles 2, and Black Panther. I thought A Wrinkle In Time had potential but the kid they cast as Charles Wallace was not at all capable of acting the things they asked him to act, plus it's ludicrous to fill a movie about physics with rubbery CG.
I still need to see Death of Stalin, First Man, Can You Ever Forgive Me, and Chappaquiddick (part of which was filmed at our church).
30. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
I turned 38. I don't remember my birthday at all. I think Ciro made a harvest cake.
31. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
Heidi, my producer in London, is trying to get distribution for Hayseeds & Scalawags and says she's optimistic about it. As a protective pessimist, I assume this will not happen. But if it had happened, I would have been so excited.
32. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2018?
Bisexual to a cliched extent. I know this because I have read several essays this year on bisexual hair or bisexual fashion and have gone, hey that's what I look like. It's not false advertizing or anything, but it's certainly become more clear to me this year the degree to which my sexuality is thoroughly unlike lesbians or straight women's, but is very consistent with other bisexual women's. It's making me question this whole sliding scale idea of sexuality. Bisexuality might be a whole other thing.
33. What kept you sane?
I've been very sad, but REL and Scarlett and Val have checked in on me.
34. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
Chris Pine, maybe?
35. What political issue stirred you the most?
Kids in cages. And other forms of institutionalized racial violence.
36. Who did you miss?
Maybe Chad even though I saw Chad a lot.
37. Who was the best new person you met?
Probably Rob Cameron, an up and coming SF writer I like. Or Heidi, my new producer, who Tony introduced me to. I've also become friends with Tony's cousin Ihimu, who is very funny.
38. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2018.
With help from friends on facebook (shoutout to Thomas Stoddard and John Kerr) I figured out how to disassemble and clean my dishwasher so it works properly again.
39. Quote a song that sums up your year:
One day I fell, and I keep falling.
Don't know if I'll make land
or if I can stand if I do.
That's from "Homosexual Art Attack." It is easy to cheat at this question when you yourself write songs. Alternately:
I can't run but I can walk much faster than this
Cannot run but
That's by Paul Simon. I like his new 2018 reorchestration, which you can hear here.
Or there's Regina Spektor's "On the Radio":
You peer inside yourself.
You take the things you like, and try to love the things you took.
And then you take that love you made
and stick it into some someone else's heart, pumping someone else's blood.
1. What did you do in 2018 that you'd never done before?
I saw the Boston Philharmonic Orchestra and the Boston Modern Orchestra Project. (I pretty much always have Boston Symphony Orchestra tickets, but have been branching out to see other orchestras as well.) Ciro and I tried having a weekly date night, with indifferent results. A music video I made was discussed in the New York City gay press and was screened at a nighclub owned by Alan Cumming. I started a company in the UK (a film collective) and designed the logo for said company, DCI, which resembles the way film threads through a 35mm Panaflex camera.
I got a new tattoo, a large diagram of a Saturn V rocket, by artist Stephanie Sheu. I attended a high school reunion. I got a van. Apparently it has 9 gear speeds. Chris Blacker and I started work on a musical but haven't gotten very far. I discovered that someone has animated a section of my "Birthday Song." I had work of mine aired on public access television. I added privacy film to the upstairs bathroom window in an artistic and time-consuming way. I painted a mural on the kitchen wall. I went to t-ball games.
I went to several large protests. One of them was outside an ICE holding facility, and we held up notes for the people inside and they held up notes for us back. Ciro filmed it and his footage was on multiple local news stations. I was very active in registering people to vote and then getting out the vote. I joined Snapchat and Twitter. I installed a spice rack which cleared up a lot of counter space. Ciro bought a coffee maker for the bedroom so there is even more coffee around. Ciro and I stopped even trying to sleep in the same room because his insomnia has been profound and we are currently on very different sleep schedules.
Songs:
"Homosexual Art Attack," voice and synth which I'd categorize as dance/glam, which is the theme song for Romie and James Take a Walk in the Woods.
"Rubber Cement," a country duet about a trial separation
"Catbird Seat," a very short jazz riff with walking bass
"Pig that Flied," a nasal country earworm
all of these have been recorded but none of them have been mixed and therefore you can't hear them.
Shoots:
Romie and James Take a Walk in the Woods (feature, not yet edited), and an instructional video by my sister REL demonstrating how to assemble one of her paper sculptures
Nonfiction:
The 58 Most Worthless Coins in My Piggy Bank, Unranked, at The Billfold
I worked on a lot of scripts and a few short stories, but nothing that is finished or published. A poem was accepted for publication but hasn't run yet. There was a lot of turmoil in my personal life - and a lot of Strange Horizons editorial work. It didn't leave much space for creative work, or at least that's how it feels to me. Even though I did a lot this year, it's hard for me to see past all the stuff I wanted to finish and haven't. On top of that, a lot of the work I've done in the last three years has never seen the light of day because a collaborator or publishing agreement fell through or was delayed, which is frustrating in another way. Mixed up in all that is the stuff I haven't finished yet which is putting other people in the exact same situation.
2. Did you keep your new year's resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
Completed: finished the music video. attended the reunion.
Partial: read books in Italian but they were children's books. I did also watch The Dragon Prince in Italian instead of in English (no subtitles), and when Antonio's girlfriend (who does not speak English) came to visit, I was able to be somewhat friendly. Basically I don't think I'm improving but don't think I'm backsliding horribly.
Not at all: did not edit "Tick Toc Toe" and haven't even finished reviewing the footage. Did not touch the novel. Did not make any progress on making my office nicer, even though I live there now (it's where I sleep).
This year the things I care most about are finishing Tic Toc Toe and finishing several screenplays for DCI. I started a brokerage account at the start of 2019 and would like to build up enough investment income that I can start cutting back on my day job in another two to eight years.
3. Did anyone close to you give birth or get married?
My dear friend Andrea (who was the officiant at my wedding) got married (and had a baby few enough days into 2019 that it's hard for me not to think of it as still 2018). There was a karaoke reception; I sang "500 Miles." My first cousin once removed, Halle, had her second baby, Wren (which is a fantastic name and fits a general bird theme in that branch of the family).
4. Did anyone close to you die?
My last remaining grandparent, Nana (Dorothy). Dad spent a lot of the year in Viriginia taking care of her while she was in hospice. She was 98 or 97, I think, but I'm not sure because she was cagey about her birth year. We inherited her dishes and a blanket (and other things but that's what integrates into my everday life), and several of Roy's things were passed to me (they'd stayed with her while she was alive).
A church and League of Women Voters friend, Anna, was hit by a car and died. Other friends have also been hit by cars but have not died. A lot of SUVs have been speeding down residential streets in our neighborhood to try to cut their commutes. They don't stop for people in crosswalks. It's gotten quite dangerous and enraging.
5. What countries did you visit?
I was mostly in Massachusetts and Texas. I'm not sure I went anywhere else.
6. What would you like to have in 2019 that you lacked in 2018?
Love and affection.
7. What date from 2018 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
November 11, Andrea's wedding. I had a good time but also this is a very easy date for me to remember.
8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
Just managing to hold things together in the face of rage and chaos.
9. What was your biggest failure?
I'm disappointed in how little I've finished.
10. Did you suffer illness or injury?
I had back-to-back colds from November through December; I don't think there were more than a couple of days when I wasn't ill. None of it was serious but it was unrelenting. I had to just say "ok I'm not buying anybody Christmas presents, I don't have the energy" and push a lot of self-imposed deadlines. It was a crummy end to the year. It's taken me from then until now to feel free enough of burnout to be able to sit down and write this.
11. What was the best thing you bought?
Admission to Cidercade, a wonderful pinball hall.
12. Whose behavior merited celebration?
Dad, who was calm and kind for a very long time during something extremely difficult. REL did some very cool artworks.
13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?
White supremacists.
14. Where did most of your money go?
Health insurance. Nobody in the family even got sick, but fully half of my total compensation went to insurance companies, copays for bog standard physicals, and needlessly expensive (price gouging) prescriptions. I fundamentally don't know who these "I like private insurance through my work" people are. People who don't like to look at numbers, I'm guessing.
15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?
This was a pretty anhedonic year. I was glad about all our visitors. My friend Molly is dating a nice guy who I like, Cedric, and it's good to see her happy. I genuinely love a lot of the poems I published as editor at Strange Horizons and have been thrilled to see them get recognition and to see the poets succeed. Also, at Readercon I met a bunch of writers from Brooklyn who I like, and a few writers who I've known and liked from their blogs but can now also know and like in person.
16. What song will always remind you of 2018?
"Nothing Breaks Like a Heart" by Miley Cyrus and Mark Ronson
17. Compared to this time last year, are you happier or sadder?
Sadder.
ii. thinner or fatter?
I'm about three pounds heavier but it's coming back down. I intentionally did some stress eating for a bit, but that's not a long-term thing.
iii. richer or poorer?
I ended 2018 with almost exactly the same bank balance as when I started 2018. Every penny I made went back out the door. I guess some student debt was paid down.
18. What do you wish you'd done more of?
Film editing.
19. What do you wish you'd done less of?
Solving other people's emergencies.
20. How did you spend the holidays?
In Boston. Rex, REL, and Scarlett were there, though not all at the same time. Rabea also stopped by.
23. What was your favorite TV program?
The Terror. I also liked Maniac and Homecoming.
24. Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year?
It's mostly the same people in the administration, but the administration has brought in additional people who I now also hate.
25. What was the best book you read?
Harpo Marx's autobiography, Harpo Speaks!
26. What was your greatest musical discovery?
Boston Modern Orchestra Project
27. What did you want and get?
I asked for panettone and a cannon, and lo, my old friend Diggs bought me panettone and a (wooden but functional) cannon.
28. What did you want and not get?
I hoped Val's novels would come out, but they're not ready yet. (I've read them, obviously. But I want to be able to talk about them with other people.)
I was asked repeatedly to apply for a promotion at work I didn't want because they already knew I qualified, and then was asked to do impossible things to prove to them what they already knew. I have outright refused. I am furious that I was jerked around like that, and have told them I will not be undergoing this process again.
29. What was your favorite film this year?
My favorites were Annihilation and Sorry To Bother You, although I also liked BlacKKKlansman, Suspiria, and The Favourite a good deal. I liked Hereditary. I enjoyed Solo more than I've liked any of the Star Wars movies since the original trilogy. This was a good movie year.
Isle of Dogs was ok. Felt pretty lukewarm about Lizzie, Incredibles 2, and Black Panther. I thought A Wrinkle In Time had potential but the kid they cast as Charles Wallace was not at all capable of acting the things they asked him to act, plus it's ludicrous to fill a movie about physics with rubbery CG.
I still need to see Death of Stalin, First Man, Can You Ever Forgive Me, and Chappaquiddick (part of which was filmed at our church).
30. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
I turned 38. I don't remember my birthday at all. I think Ciro made a harvest cake.
31. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
Heidi, my producer in London, is trying to get distribution for Hayseeds & Scalawags and says she's optimistic about it. As a protective pessimist, I assume this will not happen. But if it had happened, I would have been so excited.
32. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2018?
Bisexual to a cliched extent. I know this because I have read several essays this year on bisexual hair or bisexual fashion and have gone, hey that's what I look like. It's not false advertizing or anything, but it's certainly become more clear to me this year the degree to which my sexuality is thoroughly unlike lesbians or straight women's, but is very consistent with other bisexual women's. It's making me question this whole sliding scale idea of sexuality. Bisexuality might be a whole other thing.
33. What kept you sane?
I've been very sad, but REL and Scarlett and Val have checked in on me.
34. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
Chris Pine, maybe?
35. What political issue stirred you the most?
Kids in cages. And other forms of institutionalized racial violence.
36. Who did you miss?
Maybe Chad even though I saw Chad a lot.
37. Who was the best new person you met?
Probably Rob Cameron, an up and coming SF writer I like. Or Heidi, my new producer, who Tony introduced me to. I've also become friends with Tony's cousin Ihimu, who is very funny.
38. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2018.
With help from friends on facebook (shoutout to Thomas Stoddard and John Kerr) I figured out how to disassemble and clean my dishwasher so it works properly again.
39. Quote a song that sums up your year:
One day I fell, and I keep falling.
Don't know if I'll make land
or if I can stand if I do.
That's from "Homosexual Art Attack." It is easy to cheat at this question when you yourself write songs. Alternately:
I can't run but I can walk much faster than this
Cannot run but
That's by Paul Simon. I like his new 2018 reorchestration, which you can hear here.
Or there's Regina Spektor's "On the Radio":
You peer inside yourself.
You take the things you like, and try to love the things you took.
And then you take that love you made
and stick it into some someone else's heart, pumping someone else's blood.
(no subject)
Date: 2019-02-19 04:31 am (UTC)Several things in this post are really wonderful, but that one also registers to me as kind of ridiculous. Congratulations. Also on the mural and the tattoo.
(no subject)
Date: 2019-02-19 10:20 pm (UTC)