Our Incredible Civil War

[rinue]

I think there may be a Mariachi band hiding in my bedroom. Certainly, I have no evidence to support this; it is far more likely that when I investigate, I will find the sound is merely the clatter of venetian blinds twisting in stormdrafts. But for the time being, I cannot know definitively that the sound is blinds instead of maracas. To be sure, I could walk over and look; but what if it *is* a mariachi band, and *then* where will I be? Standing in the doorway with a surprised expression, I imagine.

Come to think of it, I don't even *have* venetian blinds.