rinue | Things That Worry Me

1. My baseline internal temperature. The thermometer read 97.1*F yesterday; Val, aghast, says that basic chemical processes shut down at 96.8. I knew that I was always cold, but I hardly thought it was life threatening. I need to accumulate more systematic statistical data on myself.

2. My debilitating inability to find pants, which I think signals the onset of the most unpleasant stage of Marx's Laws of Capitalist Motion.

3. That since I've lived in Europe I can't give blood in the US. For whatever reason, this bothers me more than if someone told me I couldn't ever have children.

4. The fact that when I say "you know that out of everyone you know I'm the most likely to have an excruciating midlife crisis" I am met with instant and emphatic agreement. Kristina has put it best by saying "Your talents are inherently scattered; it is your great strength. But any employment of these talents requires focus, and you cannot focus on being scattered. Sophocles would love you."

5. How breakable I look in photographs. In fact, I don't look like myself at all, even in the mirror, although I couldn't tell you what I'm supposed to look like.

6. The general lack of style today outside of the goths, who are at least trying.

7. That because I am a good guy now, people assume that I am safer, stupider, and easily disrespected. That it is presupposed that I am weaker, meeker, and less deserving of sympathy because I am no longer trying to destroy the world. It's a pat ending, and I hate pat endings, but I am supposedly happier this way.

8. That I think things are more beautiful if they are falling apart, which most likely leads to a host of self-defeating behaviors.

current mood: Cold. Freezing, actually, even with my heaviest coat on. And my head doesn't hurt, but it feels like it's wrapped in wool, and the vertebrae ache at the back of my neck. I can't hear properly, and my vision is blurry. It's like being unpleasantly drunk (Ford Prefect's glass of water) and yet I can't use it as an excuse to skip class, where there is an exam review. Mostly, I hope I don't fall out of my chair. I'm dizzy; everything's swimming. I have to drive home like this in winds so heavy they nearly push my car off the road. Whoa, disgruntled.