In Defense of Math

[rinue]

Every week or two, someone I know posts this gif somewhere:



[How I see math word problems: If you have 4 pencils and I have 7 apples, how many pancakes will fit on the roof? Purple, because aliens don't wear hats.]

Each time, from each person, it gets a lot of "I know, right!" "so true!" "my life, lol!" comments and shares. It's epidemic.

I have to assume the people who post this see it as a charming self-disclosure, maybe even on the order of a humblebrag, because not knowing math is cool and unifying. Numbers are for gross nerds with no social skills, and are completely incomprehensible to a passionate, artistic, outgoing adult-about-town. How many anecdotes a month do I read from otherwise pro-intellectual sources, in which a kid asks for homework help in, what else, math, and the writer doesn't remember, because not having to do math anymore is a sign of maturity, like not having to ask to go to the bathroom? Today, in the Globe, the writer assumed I couldn't remember the distributive property I learned in 8th grade algebra. Only I do. It's easy. It's easy enough you can invent it for yourself if you forget it.

[I'm buying food for a dinner party. I know I need 1 piece of whatever the meat is, 2 servings of whatever pasta, and 1/4 pint of ice cream per person. There will be 4 people coming, including me, so I need 4 pieces of whatever meat, 8 servings of whatever pasta, and 1 pint of ice cream. In other words, 4(x + 2y + z/4) = 4x + 8y + z.]

If you really can't handle math - if you have number dyslexia - I sympathize and am happy to help. But I won't celebrate you. And let's be honest: you're not number dyslexic, just proudly ignorant. When I read that "how many pancakes" joke, it's like somebody just said "I can't use utensils and have to eat everything with my hands, and I smear it all over my face! Haha! YOLO!" That stuff's embarrassing. You're the same people who were horrified when Herman Cain talked about "Ubeki-beki-bekistan" during the Republican primary. Know what? Same thing.

I need to be able to say, when I'm driving to a meeting 50 miles away, traveling about 60 mph on the highway but 30 mph for the last 10 miles of surface roads, plus about 10 minutes to park and walk into the building, whether I have time to stop for coffee if the meeting's in an hour. (Answer: No, I don't.) If that sounds like gibberish to you, it's because you've decided to switch your brain off when you see a number, not because it's hard or unimportant. (It's neither.) Word problems aren't some standardized test "gotcha" trick. If you're late to a meeting with me because the answer you got was "purple," you're not cute. You're offensively stupid and inconsiderate.

But you're not late to a meeting with me, are you? And you know how to buy groceries, and whether you'll have enough left over to pay rent next week if we go to a restaurant tonight and you get paid again on Friday. You can and do solve word problems pretty much daily. Somewhere along the line, you decided on this "math is hard" pose, which even you have forgotten is a pose, and in so doing, you've joined the last stand of the ascendant bimbo, mascot George W. Bush. I'll leave you alone about it out of courtesy, the same way I'm not going to grammar-pick your e-mails or criticize the way you parent. But stop acting like I'm the weirdo.

Comments

[movingfinger]

I agree about the "math is hard" pose being a particularly obnoxious one, but to a certain extent I think it's become a pernicious social problem, often reinforced by older generations (there was no expectation I would do well in math or anything else, and that was stated).

Math word problems aren't the same as math, IMO. I do just fine with math, and with the real-world equivalent of word problems, buying the right amount of lumber without trouble or calculating the time to cover the distance to Portland in two equal legs if we swing over to the coast. But the often bizarre situtations or peculiar wording in word problems always flummoxed me in school!

Yet, apart from the math word problems, which I always blew, I did well enough with academic math. And money math.

I worked briefly for a math textbook publisher, proofreading (which means working problems and checking diagrams). I flagged one particular diagram as wrong and not applicable; the problem involved a boat going upriver. The editor insisted that the diagram was correct. It took a significant, detailed conversation for me to understand that the editor had chosen to draw the diagram with the boat going "down" the page and so all the left and right parts of the diagram were reveresed from what the cue word "upriver" had set up in my mind and not only did you have to read the problem and construct this thing in your mind but you had to rotate it... So I think I am language-dominant, and I do not have trouble figuring out how much tile for the bathroom and how long it will take and how much less gas I will use if I go 55 instead of 70, but if you put that to me in words, I will put the meaning of the words first.

[rinue]

I think the upriver problem would have made me angry because of agreed symbology; as a matter of literacy, we've decided for instance that the top of a map is North, and if your map faces West, it's your responsibility to draw my attention to it. I see this as less of a math-v-words dilemma as a violation of agreed symbols, like deciding that in your diagram a green dot means a stop sign, or that duck is spelled dok. (Curse you, Variety, with your crx for critics.)

Mostly, I feel like this is left over from the "left brain/right brain" fantasy, which pretends there's a tradeoff between math and language skills. And there isn't. My vocabulary isn't smaller because I know geometry, and my fluency didn't hamper my ability to understand calculus. It's like people think math is literally going to infect them and make them unable to understand character motivations in fiction.

[rinue]

Incidentally, agreed about the generational influence and social meme. "Girls are bad at math" in particular has been clearly demonstrated as cultural, by comparing different countries, and there's further evidence to suggest that female elementary school teachers are very likely to say in front of their students that they themselves have trouble with math, which measurably depresses their female students' (but not their male students') math scores. That's a lot of why I want to kill this meme; it has collateral damage.

I feel like the second-wave feminist push to say "let's celebrate the feminine as equally valid" has value in many areas, but did us a disservice in other places, and math is one of them. Most of the people I see celebrating their lack of math are women or gay men, and it's almost like they're saying "I'm proud I'm not a straight man." Which in this case embraces rather than subverts patriarchy, by locking us out of vast spheres of influence and understanding, not to mention a lot of good-paying careers.