The Opposite of Belated

[rinue]

Chad called just after midnight to be the first to wish me a happy birthday. Although it is possible he just got the date wrong (my birthday is the sixth), it's equal odds that either he was honoring the Faienza three-day-birthday high holiday tradition or that he was really determined to be the first to wish me a happy birthday. (Val sort of also jumped the gun. But later on. Also Ciro. People get excited.) I admire that kind of ambition, so Chad I say to you now, two months in advance, happy birthday. If I have come in second to somebody who has already wished you happy birthday, I will die.