Mortification of the Flesh

[rinue]

I have a love-hate relationship with the blog Apartment Therapy. At its best, it offers me beautiful pictures of spaces in which I like to imagine spending time. At its worst, it espouses decluttering, not in the moderate sense of throwing out trash or putting property in its proper place (as stuff and not a cage), but with wide-eyed zeal that labels books as dust collectors and fervently "purges" every few months regardless of whether, you know, there's a problem to be solved.* God save me from the new asceticism, where we're all vegans who don't read books. Kellogg called for bland food and no sex, so I know this strain of American society has always existed, but I find that horrible rather than reassuring.

As part of the move, Ciro recovered several boxes from Ed's attic, containing mostly cookbooks (hooray!) but also odds and ends his parents thought were valuable, by which I mean glass swans and ceramic thimbles from the Franklin Mint (which we will send to his grandmother, and serves her right). The height of absurdity to Ciro: extremely miniature versions of U.S. historic coins, and a loupe with which to look at them. The culmination of my hopes and dreams: same. It is coins. They are very small.

Further investigation reveals they were minted four days after I was born. Happy birthday, Rome. Love, the universe. Ciro says I must not touch them or they will tarnish, but of course I plan to touch them. Every day.

* It's very consumerist. "Get rid of your stuff so you have space for more stuff." "Trash your cleaning products and buy new cleaning products." There's also a strain of new New Age "make room in your house for new ideas." Because artists and creative types are known for their productive lack of clutter. It's about purity. If you cleaned your closet and did the master cleanse in the same week, you'd probably be able to astrally project.

The spellcheck refused to recognize either "decluttering" or "loupe," and the other day I ran into a program that wouldn't accept "lachrymose," among other things. I dislike that dictionaries have stopped being a place one looks for histories and nuances, and have become Scrabblized: This word isn't in here and doesn't exist. Oh I assure you it does.

Comments

[valancy_jane]

The older I get, the more overwhelmed I get by clutter. I don't think it's because I'm naturally a neatnik; it bothers me on a psychological, deep level, unfortunately. I understand now why my mother (how I hated this as a child!) chose to leave her room white, with a white bedspread, white pillows, and a single white lamp. The only other furniture she had was her bed, bedside table, and the radio (which she eventually moved to my room because "it felt too cluttered"). While I live in fear of falling into the painfully rigid standards of OCD, that kind of simplicity I now eye with envy; while the rest of the house might have been dirty, after 48 years of being downtrodden, she created a quiet oasis.

So I do agree with you: this ridiculous overfocus on simplicity at the expense of life and real functionality is silly. And yet, I'm horrendously attracted to it. Sometimes I wish I owned nothing. I can get suffocated by things, even though I love beautiful things. I wish I could turn off that part of my brain, but it just seems to get stronger. Aging is very hard for me sometimes, but never for the reasons I thought it would be.

[rinue]

I can certainly understand the appeal, although it's not to my personal taste. I think that whatever makes you happy at home is great, whether it's peace or stimulation, so long as it doesn't endanger anyone else. What I object to is the idea that a white room is a morally superior rather than an aesthetic choice - not "it makes me comfortable" but "it makes me better than people who do not live this way."

In other words, I am not suggesting that everyone should increase their clutter level, or that everyone is made happy by a bookshelf. I am suggesting that the opposite dogma - that everyone should decrease their clutter level, or that everyone is secretly trapped by a bookshelf - is absurd. There are many different standards of beauty.

Incidentally, I think you have always gravitated toward white walls, spare furniture, few (but cherished and high quality) possessions, and some plants. Maybe not as a little kid (I wouldn't know, because you didn't control your own decoration then so much and I wasn't over at your house), but certainly since at least 16. You just felt guilty about getting rid of "valuable" gifts and souvenirs you didn't want or have use for. I say run and be free! It is not age; it is just you being you.

[valancy_jane]

Meant to reply to this ages ago. This is another reason I want a smartphone, so I can be hip like all the young kids these days and keep up with email. And things.

Anyhow, thank you. As always, you make a girl feel normal and sane just when she's starting to question it.

Love ya.