You Heard of a Place Called Shell Beach?
Jul. 19th, 2010 03:39 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
rinueYesterday, met with James to discuss costume and locations, then saw Inception again and made a rhubarb upside-down cake. Not bad for a first run, but I'll probably tweak the recipe further, maybe hybridize it with cornbread. Way too much sugar in this one; rhubarb isn't that bitter.
Still feeling on-and-off depressed. Pessimistic is probably more accurate than depressed. I sound like a broken record even to myself, but I need an end date for Dallas, and a where to next. As it stands*, it's limbo like summer vacation was in college, where I'm not really engaged with anything and spend a lot of time on my computer. There are people I like very much whom I haven't befriended because I can neither say "I'll be gone soon" nor "I'm in it for the haul." I worry about submitting manuscripts non-electronically because I don't know my return address three months out.
Of course, I'm fagged when it comes to submitting in general, and I can't tell whether I should cut myself slack on that or not. I don't usually do much creative writing work (generative or submission-wise) when I'm in preproduction on a film, but this feels different than usual, less like I'm disinterested and more like I'm mad at publishers. As for the film, my god I don't look forward to having to do something with it when it's finished. I'm not ready for another fight; if people can't already tell I'm good enough to pay, I'm close to ready to walk away. (The creative things I do to amuse myself are quite different from the ones I do to amuse other people.) Maybe this one will go smoothly; it has so far. But maybe it won't. I don't have much faith in the world right now. Whether that's helping or hurting me, I can't tell.
* The one great contribution the Harry Potter movies made to my home life is that both REL and I were incensed at the end of the first one, when Dumbledore says, "As it stands, Slytherin is in the lead," just before he switches it out to be Gryffindor. And it's like, man, those are kids you're messing with for no reason. "Here is your trophy," Dumbledore says gravely. "Psych." Ever since, "As it stands" has served in our house like "no times," "besept not," and "also I'm lying." (All these were used by Scarlett at various times in high school, and Dad particularly latched onto "no times," as in "I will get that for you no times.") Despite this, I am using "As it stands" here in its conventional and not its fake-out meaning.
Still feeling on-and-off depressed. Pessimistic is probably more accurate than depressed. I sound like a broken record even to myself, but I need an end date for Dallas, and a where to next. As it stands*, it's limbo like summer vacation was in college, where I'm not really engaged with anything and spend a lot of time on my computer. There are people I like very much whom I haven't befriended because I can neither say "I'll be gone soon" nor "I'm in it for the haul." I worry about submitting manuscripts non-electronically because I don't know my return address three months out.
Of course, I'm fagged when it comes to submitting in general, and I can't tell whether I should cut myself slack on that or not. I don't usually do much creative writing work (generative or submission-wise) when I'm in preproduction on a film, but this feels different than usual, less like I'm disinterested and more like I'm mad at publishers. As for the film, my god I don't look forward to having to do something with it when it's finished. I'm not ready for another fight; if people can't already tell I'm good enough to pay, I'm close to ready to walk away. (The creative things I do to amuse myself are quite different from the ones I do to amuse other people.) Maybe this one will go smoothly; it has so far. But maybe it won't. I don't have much faith in the world right now. Whether that's helping or hurting me, I can't tell.
* The one great contribution the Harry Potter movies made to my home life is that both REL and I were incensed at the end of the first one, when Dumbledore says, "As it stands, Slytherin is in the lead," just before he switches it out to be Gryffindor. And it's like, man, those are kids you're messing with for no reason. "Here is your trophy," Dumbledore says gravely. "Psych." Ever since, "As it stands" has served in our house like "no times," "besept not," and "also I'm lying." (All these were used by Scarlett at various times in high school, and Dad particularly latched onto "no times," as in "I will get that for you no times.") Despite this, I am using "As it stands" here in its conventional and not its fake-out meaning.
(no subject)
Date: 2010-07-20 01:45 am (UTC)Have been on a huge peanut butter and lettuce sandwich kick, thanks to you.