Dec. 14th, 2022

rinue: (hidden)
It's a cliche in movies that when somebody outraged says "do you know who I am," we're supposed to understand they're horrible. But I don't think it's ridiculous. It's exhausting to have to constantly re-prove myself to people who assume I have no qualifications, instead of being able to point to any of my experience or reputation, instead of having a cushion of trust.

On the one hand, I get it. They don't have a way to know my resume by looking at me, and it has some unusual stuff on it. On the other hand, I feel like I'm living in "men explain things to me."

I have spent the last two weeks having people worry about whether I can handle singing a Christmas carol with a couple of kids at an assisted living facility, which would probably be insulting in itself, but it's incredibly exhausting when I've spent all day giving notes on a stage musical I wrote, making plans to get down to perform live music at a club in NYC, checking on the song I just released, and researching which local bars I might want to approach about getting back into gigging. I've working as a live musician since I was three, and sometimes bandleader or musical director or accompanist or music teacher. It's a big part of how I supported myself up until the years I needed to be home in the evenings for family reasons.

All of that is invisible. All of that is a life people cannot imagine me having. It's very difficult.

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rinue

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