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Blife on the Schlitterbahn
Dec. 11th, 2001 03:52 pm2 exams down (the easy ones); 3 more to go (the comparatively hard ones).
Even now, the paper lurks.
"I've never seen you with your hair in a ponytail before," said Warde when I turned in my Short Story final. "You look very much like Jodie Foster; I hadn't noticed. Although it's really not the appearance so much as the way you move. I imagine you're also as intelligent as her, if not more so. Have you written any papers criticizing deconstruction, perchance?"
Yes, actually.
This solves a problem that's been bugging me for years. Namely: if I were to make a movie about my life, who would I cast as me? This question stumps everyone. Patrick suggests Angelina Jolie, but only because he wants to work with her. Val says maybe Emma Thompson; mom says Meg Ryan for the sole purpose of annoying me. I say Gene Wilder.
None of these work.
But Jodie Foster. That I can get behind. We'll have to get Edward Norton for Patrick's part, and for Val. . . Well, any number of people will want to play Val. She's very beautiful, has torrid romances, and gets all the dramatic scenes. She is the character we, as an audience, identify with. We shall have to beat people off with a stick. Perhaps after finals, I should build some kind of automated stick-smacking machine, just in case. I think I can find what I need at Home Despot. I'll paint it in an odd floral pattern, so as to throw off anyone who might be suspicious of my motivations. One has to be on one's guard.
"And with Christmas, I imagine you've been thinking about the physics of a quantum sled, cloning Santa instantaneously, and/or having him appear everywhere at once by exploitation of Heisenberg's uncertainty principle."
Yup.
"I thought that was the way your mind worked. Candy?"
Even now, the paper lurks.
"I've never seen you with your hair in a ponytail before," said Warde when I turned in my Short Story final. "You look very much like Jodie Foster; I hadn't noticed. Although it's really not the appearance so much as the way you move. I imagine you're also as intelligent as her, if not more so. Have you written any papers criticizing deconstruction, perchance?"
Yes, actually.
This solves a problem that's been bugging me for years. Namely: if I were to make a movie about my life, who would I cast as me? This question stumps everyone. Patrick suggests Angelina Jolie, but only because he wants to work with her. Val says maybe Emma Thompson; mom says Meg Ryan for the sole purpose of annoying me. I say Gene Wilder.
None of these work.
But Jodie Foster. That I can get behind. We'll have to get Edward Norton for Patrick's part, and for Val. . . Well, any number of people will want to play Val. She's very beautiful, has torrid romances, and gets all the dramatic scenes. She is the character we, as an audience, identify with. We shall have to beat people off with a stick. Perhaps after finals, I should build some kind of automated stick-smacking machine, just in case. I think I can find what I need at Home Despot. I'll paint it in an odd floral pattern, so as to throw off anyone who might be suspicious of my motivations. One has to be on one's guard.
"And with Christmas, I imagine you've been thinking about the physics of a quantum sled, cloning Santa instantaneously, and/or having him appear everywhere at once by exploitation of Heisenberg's uncertainty principle."
Yup.
"I thought that was the way your mind worked. Candy?"
