Dec. 7th, 2001

rinue: (Default)
I am too emotionally exhausted to draft a proper journal entry, and have been for the past several days. I'm sure you have noticed this from (a) the dearth of journal entries, and (b) the poor quality of those posted. This, I am afraid, will fall into the second category. It might seem odd that when I become emotional I am less apt to write in my journal rather than more, but when I'm upset I tend to be . . . too able to put words down. I feel things too deeply to write them as less than true, which nobody has the time for. The one time I tried -- in a handwritten journal -- it was novel-length before I was finished with the entry, which I finally just gave up on.

So, here you go. A non-entry.

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My body is behaving strangely. I've been craving protein, calcium, and iron, although by most standards my regular diet contains sufficient quantities of these nutrients. Yesterday, I had spinach at every meal, and fantasized about it when I was not eating. It's ten a.m., and I have already had a chicken sandwich; I suspect I'll eat two more before the day is over. This is especially odd when one considers my usual disdain for animal products.

It's been at least a week since I've had any control of my emotions. While I pride myself on being even-tempered, I have been flying into murderous rages followed by hour long crying jags and violent performences of Beethoven piano sonatas. It's all very exhausting, and every time I sit down I can't bear the thought of ever getting up again. My muscles ache constantly.

It's as though I'm going through puberty a second time. (The Horror.) I suppose all that remains to be seen is into what I'll metamorphose.

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Random note: for the past week, the Rainbow Coalition has come up in conversation at least twice a day -- sometimes more. I'm never the one who mentions it, and it's rarely related to the subject of the conversation. It also shows up in print a lot, and thus I cannot be affecting it. Well, I can, but I prefer not to think about it.

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Took the surrealist personality test, and found it weirdly accurate. I think this is probably the best summary of my personality I've ever received. No joke.

I am Matched Phrenology Busts.

I enlighten Norwegian glass bacteria with richly sponged hardwood thought processes. Four ripe metronomes ridicule my lucky castle of relief. My auspicious mercury rides level coral.

What erudite spheres reveal strata? The Utterly Surreal Test



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Remind me to talk about primary affinity at some point.

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