The Nocturnalist

[rinue]

I don't sleep during the night. Not naturally, anyway. Left to my own Romie devices, I fall asleep around 6 A.M. and wake up around 2 or 3. This has been true for as long as I can remember, which meant that most summer vacations I went to bed about when Dad left for work and was still somewhat groggy when he got home. This being Boston, (at least during my college years,) I experienced about two daily hours of sunlight - none at all in the winter.

I'd like to note that this is not actually a conscious choice on my part. It's a very inconvenient way in which to live, since it means that for most of the time I'm awake, nothing is open. It also unnerves people when I'm alert at what they consider odd times of day. However, if I try to sleep on a normal schedule, (which I frequently do, for the sake of convenience,) I have to make a conscious and concerted effort to keep track of time so that I can force myself to sleep via self-hypnosis; these periods typically feature bouts of insomnia. Since these "normal sleep pattern" periods comprise the majority of my life, I've read a lot of books.

In any case, what I'm getting at is a question: why do so many people get so irritated by my firm demand that they not expect me to do anything frivolous before noon, (which is still waking up early for me)? I don't ask them to have dinner with me at 3 AM, and I wake up early when it's important. It's not like it's personal. What's up with all the hostility and total disrespect of my boundaries? It seems like such a simple request, especially since I turn off the telephone while I'm sleeping in case people forget.

Comments

[faithhopetricks.livejournal.com]

HA, I have the exact same insomnia/sleep disorder/what-the-fuck-ever it is. My natural rhythm just seems to be nocturnal. I don't really perk up until 10 or 11 PM at night -- it's always been this way for me, ever since I was a little kid. It's nearly impossible for me to get to sleep at the time most people do unless I do something like take a sleeping pill (which I refuse to do -- I hate that shit). The kindest response I've gotten to my not wanting people to call me before noon is "Lazy!" or "Nice life!" or something like that. It's damnear impossible to convince people this isn't something I choose, I just have. The few times I did manage to establish something like a normal sleep schedule (with a lot of time and effort) as an adolescent my family practically threw me a parade.

I d'know. Maybe other people are jealous. They'd like to sleep in late, since to them it means relaxation and not having to get up when you're still tired. They don't understand (because they don't have the sleep disorder) calling someone at 8 AM when they've just managed to get to sleep at 4 AM is like calling someone with a regular sleep schedule at two in the morning. Does that make sense?

[rinue.livejournal.com]

That makes sense; it fits in with the whole . . . you ask someone for advice, and they say, "well, what I would do is. . ." and you have to say, "no, no, I'm asking about what's right for me." I sometimes wonder if really intollerant people - bigots and misogynists and so on - get away with it inside their heads and don't worry about how people will react when they say horrible things because they assume most other people think/live the way they do. It strikes me as such a dangerous mindset, but then I was raised to assume I was schizophrenic and to always look for outer cues to see if I was thinking sanely about a situation.

-Romie

[faithhopetricks.livejournal.com]

That really makes sense to me -- i.e. that bigots/misogynists/evil people/whatever suffer from a failure of empathy, from a kind of lack of imagination -- an inability to imagine themselves being anyone else, having any other kind of life. My natural inclination is to absolutely second-guess any opinion I have, so I kinda have the empathy problem 180 degrees in the other direction....possibly also cause during my growing-up my mother's response to pretty much anything I had to say about our family was "That's not true!" But that's probably TMI....

[rhys-k.livejournal.com]

Hey... would never dream about calling you before noon. But if you want company for a 3am dinner I'm game.