A Rockstar Primer
Apr. 14th, 2004 01:43 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
rinueIn order to lead a proper rock'n'roll lifestyle, it is helpful to follow a few guidelines.
First, you must dress unconventionally in order to distinguish yourself from the masses.
Second, you should take an interest in Eastern spirituality or Western mysticism to show that you're deep and spiritual but aren't taken in by establishment ideas about religion. Often, it is helpful to involve substance abuse in some way, especially if it "opens your mind" and is illegal.
Third, make an effort to talk about Art, Truth, Sacrifice, and The Man whenever the opportunity presents itself. You can use this opportunity to slag on anyone who is "square" or a sell-out - in other words, people who are pre- or post- rockstar, people from whom you want to distance yourself.
Fourth, develop odd sleeping habits and paranoias that make it difficult for anybody to contact you unless they are part of your entourage. This will add to your mystique.
Finally . . . you have to be able to rock.
I'm going to be honest: it's the last one that's really a stumbling block, and which I see as the barrier to my becoming a mythic cultural figure. I didn't think it would be so difficult. I mean, I'm iconoclastic, articulate, and pretentious, and I have boatloads of musical talent . . . and yet I'm missing that elusive fifth element, rockingness, as evidenced by my total failure to play the electric guitar as well as I do an accoustic.
Or so I thought until I saw the latest issue of Guitar Legends Magazine, (may be misremembering title,) which was a tribute to Accoustic Rock. This goes beyond Joni Mitchell and Tenacious D. This is about Zep, (Led Zepplin,) Heart, Neil Young, The Beatles, and Nirvana Unplugged. This is about the chosen instrument of Bob Dylan, Paul Simon, and Pete Townshend. You say accoustic guitar can't be punk? I say to you that drums involve no amount of elecricity, and yet the drummer is typically the punkest member of the band. Accoustic guitar is bigger than you. Accoustic guitar is bigger than me. Accoustic guitar is going to eat the world.
In conclusion, a few words about Steve Miller:
1. There is some confusion as to whether he is a space cowboy, a ganster of love, named "Maurice," or any combination of the three.
2. Nevertheless, he himself knows just exactly what the facts is.
How can we reconcile these statements? Is Steve Miller lying about his knowlege of the facts, and therefore unclear on his relative status as gangster of love, etc.? Is Steve Miller certain of the facts, but unwilling to share these facts with us, to which end he creates a smokescreen of conflicting "Maurecian" information? No. Steve Miller, in his wisdom, presents these persona conflicts as a Zen koan, leaving us to mull them over until we reach our own enlightenment.
That's the power of accoustic rock.
First, you must dress unconventionally in order to distinguish yourself from the masses.
Second, you should take an interest in Eastern spirituality or Western mysticism to show that you're deep and spiritual but aren't taken in by establishment ideas about religion. Often, it is helpful to involve substance abuse in some way, especially if it "opens your mind" and is illegal.
Third, make an effort to talk about Art, Truth, Sacrifice, and The Man whenever the opportunity presents itself. You can use this opportunity to slag on anyone who is "square" or a sell-out - in other words, people who are pre- or post- rockstar, people from whom you want to distance yourself.
Fourth, develop odd sleeping habits and paranoias that make it difficult for anybody to contact you unless they are part of your entourage. This will add to your mystique.
Finally . . . you have to be able to rock.
I'm going to be honest: it's the last one that's really a stumbling block, and which I see as the barrier to my becoming a mythic cultural figure. I didn't think it would be so difficult. I mean, I'm iconoclastic, articulate, and pretentious, and I have boatloads of musical talent . . . and yet I'm missing that elusive fifth element, rockingness, as evidenced by my total failure to play the electric guitar as well as I do an accoustic.
Or so I thought until I saw the latest issue of Guitar Legends Magazine, (may be misremembering title,) which was a tribute to Accoustic Rock. This goes beyond Joni Mitchell and Tenacious D. This is about Zep, (Led Zepplin,) Heart, Neil Young, The Beatles, and Nirvana Unplugged. This is about the chosen instrument of Bob Dylan, Paul Simon, and Pete Townshend. You say accoustic guitar can't be punk? I say to you that drums involve no amount of elecricity, and yet the drummer is typically the punkest member of the band. Accoustic guitar is bigger than you. Accoustic guitar is bigger than me. Accoustic guitar is going to eat the world.
In conclusion, a few words about Steve Miller:
1. There is some confusion as to whether he is a space cowboy, a ganster of love, named "Maurice," or any combination of the three.
2. Nevertheless, he himself knows just exactly what the facts is.
How can we reconcile these statements? Is Steve Miller lying about his knowlege of the facts, and therefore unclear on his relative status as gangster of love, etc.? Is Steve Miller certain of the facts, but unwilling to share these facts with us, to which end he creates a smokescreen of conflicting "Maurecian" information? No. Steve Miller, in his wisdom, presents these persona conflicts as a Zen koan, leaving us to mull them over until we reach our own enlightenment.
That's the power of accoustic rock.
