The Making Of
Jul. 31st, 2002 09:57 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
rinue(This entry is dedicated to those of you who sometimes worry about me. You know who you are.)
MALE ANNOUNCER: . . . And tonight we take you behind the scenes to the myth, the magic . . . Romie's Typical Internal Thought Processes.
[FADE IN on ID, EGO, and SUPEREGO sitting around a POKER TABLE, drinking COFFEES of varying strengths. Id and Superego are staring each other down with seething expressions.]
EGO: So, is there an issue here?
[ID and SUPEREGO stare each other down.]
EGO: Because if there is, I think we should talk about it.
[ID and SUPEREGO stare each other down.]
EGO: I mean, we're all friends, and I'm sure we can work things out in a mature and rational manner. We do control the same organism after all.
[ID and SUPEREGO stare each other down. ID's eyebrow twitches.]
EGO: Okay then.
SUPEREGO: (exploding) It's morally wrong, and I won't stand by it!
ID: (calmly) But it's what we want.
SUPEREGO: People could get hurt!
ID: What people?
SUPEREGO: People!
ID: Like who?
SUPEREGO: People who we like.
ID: (smugly) You can't think of anyone. I expected as much.
SUPEREGO: (imperiously) What about [person]?
ID: Oh. Damn. How much do we really like them?
SUPEREGO: (ticking points off on her fingers) And [person] and [person] and [person].
ID: I think you're missing out on the point that this is something we want.
SUPEREGO: (righteously enraged) Want this, you self-centered motherfucker!
[SUPEREGO leaps across the TABLE at ID, scattering COFFEE CUPS with windmilling punches. ID socks her in the face.]
ID: (taunting) Who's the moral compass now?
[ID and SUPEREGO fall to the floor, biting and kicking, until EGO manages to pull them apart.]
EGO: I think there's only one way to solve this.
[ID and SUPEREGO breathe heavily, waiting for an opening. EGO stares them down until they nod their aquiescence.]
EGO: Utility Theory.
SUPEREGO: (groans)
ID: Jesus, not that again.
EGO: Shut up. This is important. Now: how many utils would you say correspond to each option?
[SUPEREGO buries her head in her hands while ID repeatedly slams his forehead against the TABLE.]
EGO: (a little desperately) Come on, guys. Utils?
[ID holds up a GREEN SOCK PUPPET labeled "LIBIDO".]
LIBIDO: How can you put a value on the root of all creativity?
SUPEREGO: Or friendship! And honor!
EGO: (whining openly) Guyyyyyyys. . .
ID: Look, you can side with me and get what you want. . .
SUPEREGO: Or you can side with me and be a good person and not be guilt-ridden for the rest of your days.
EGO: Fuck. I think I'll descend into a pit of angst, punctuated occasionally with periods of intense brooding.
[EGO decends into a PIT of ANGST, punctuated occasionally with periods of intense BROODING.]
[Several days pass. EGO's head snaps up, eyes narrowing.]
EGO: Wait a second. I don't have any morals. How can you even exist?
SUPEREGO: Goddamnit.
[SUPEREGO slumps over in defeat. ID and EGO walk out arm and arm, casually flipping the bird to SUPEREGO.]
ID: Kid, I think this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship.
EGO: And how. There's just one thing I don't understand about all this.
ID: What's that?
EGO: How can someone prefer tuna casserole to braised tillapia?
ID: There are more things in heaven and earth, Horatio.
MALE ANNOUNCER: . . . And tonight we take you behind the scenes to the myth, the magic . . . Romie's Typical Internal Thought Processes.
[FADE IN on ID, EGO, and SUPEREGO sitting around a POKER TABLE, drinking COFFEES of varying strengths. Id and Superego are staring each other down with seething expressions.]
EGO: So, is there an issue here?
[ID and SUPEREGO stare each other down.]
EGO: Because if there is, I think we should talk about it.
[ID and SUPEREGO stare each other down.]
EGO: I mean, we're all friends, and I'm sure we can work things out in a mature and rational manner. We do control the same organism after all.
[ID and SUPEREGO stare each other down. ID's eyebrow twitches.]
EGO: Okay then.
SUPEREGO: (exploding) It's morally wrong, and I won't stand by it!
ID: (calmly) But it's what we want.
SUPEREGO: People could get hurt!
ID: What people?
SUPEREGO: People!
ID: Like who?
SUPEREGO: People who we like.
ID: (smugly) You can't think of anyone. I expected as much.
SUPEREGO: (imperiously) What about [person]?
ID: Oh. Damn. How much do we really like them?
SUPEREGO: (ticking points off on her fingers) And [person] and [person] and [person].
ID: I think you're missing out on the point that this is something we want.
SUPEREGO: (righteously enraged) Want this, you self-centered motherfucker!
[SUPEREGO leaps across the TABLE at ID, scattering COFFEE CUPS with windmilling punches. ID socks her in the face.]
ID: (taunting) Who's the moral compass now?
[ID and SUPEREGO fall to the floor, biting and kicking, until EGO manages to pull them apart.]
EGO: I think there's only one way to solve this.
[ID and SUPEREGO breathe heavily, waiting for an opening. EGO stares them down until they nod their aquiescence.]
EGO: Utility Theory.
SUPEREGO: (groans)
ID: Jesus, not that again.
EGO: Shut up. This is important. Now: how many utils would you say correspond to each option?
[SUPEREGO buries her head in her hands while ID repeatedly slams his forehead against the TABLE.]
EGO: (a little desperately) Come on, guys. Utils?
[ID holds up a GREEN SOCK PUPPET labeled "LIBIDO".]
LIBIDO: How can you put a value on the root of all creativity?
SUPEREGO: Or friendship! And honor!
EGO: (whining openly) Guyyyyyyys. . .
ID: Look, you can side with me and get what you want. . .
SUPEREGO: Or you can side with me and be a good person and not be guilt-ridden for the rest of your days.
EGO: Fuck. I think I'll descend into a pit of angst, punctuated occasionally with periods of intense brooding.
[EGO decends into a PIT of ANGST, punctuated occasionally with periods of intense BROODING.]
[Several days pass. EGO's head snaps up, eyes narrowing.]
EGO: Wait a second. I don't have any morals. How can you even exist?
SUPEREGO: Goddamnit.
[SUPEREGO slumps over in defeat. ID and EGO walk out arm and arm, casually flipping the bird to SUPEREGO.]
ID: Kid, I think this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship.
EGO: And how. There's just one thing I don't understand about all this.
ID: What's that?
EGO: How can someone prefer tuna casserole to braised tillapia?
ID: There are more things in heaven and earth, Horatio.
