go fund me nation

[rinue]

A very old friend of mine, someone I've known since I was single digits in age, is in the hospital with a MRSA infection, and although he has insurance and although he himself works in healthcare, the months of fighting it have used all his paid sick leave and he still has a copay and although there are things he'll be reimbursed for, he still has to make rent while he's waiting. in the hospital.

And there are many awful things about the GoFundMe system of medical care in the U.S., and its premiums on being likeable, but one of the awful things that doesn't get talked about is: I would spend thousands of dollars to save my friend. Don't even have to think about it. What's in my bank account, yes. This person is good and true and kind and an emblem of everything I love in the world. I would nurse him personally to the end of his hopefully long life if I had to. I could fully fund his GoFundMe right this second, using my own emergency fund, because that is the exact reason I have an emergency fund, and he is not asking for much.

BUT

instead

I have kicked in $50

because I looked at the amounts other people have donated and I stuck to that range of donations, on the higher end of that range of donations but below people I'm fairly sure are his aunts

I have done it this way because it is not an emergency (unless it is an emergency and my friend is making it feel light because this is his way; after all you don't ask for help when everything is fine) and because there is something that feels wonderful about knowing that a huge and varied group of people are holding you aloft, a whole society of people; and that sense of safety goes away if it's just one person, one friend who happens to have the ability right now to ride to the rescue

I have given less than I would be willing to, on purpose, because I think it would make him more socially comfortable to receive less from me. But this could be a miscalculation and I could leave someone I love without resources he needs due to this fan dance.

I will have time to add more if it turns out I have guessed wrong.

It is ridiculous and I am angry and I don't see why it is so terrible to pay thousands of dollars into a fund to help all the people so they can have the comfort of knowing they are helped by all the people

I don't like having to fake that my friend isn't worth tens of thousands of dollars, fake that he isn't more precious than diamonds

Comments

[sabotabby]

I hate that this is even a thing that people need to think about. I leaned on friends a lot when I got sick but not financially. No one should have to.