a note on the 20-year reunion
Feb. 18th, 2019 07:47 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
rinuep.s. The high school reunion was fun in that I like those people and was glad to see them. However there were two conversations I wish hadn't happened but knew would happen.
One was "you look great now and who would have believed because you used to be overweight." Which I was not. I was 15 pounds heavier than now, at most. It's more like I was in costume. I deliberately wore baggy clothing because I did not want that kind of attention as a 15 year old. It is dumb it that worked so well or mattered to anybody.
Two was "aw you're so smart we figured you would have cured cancer by now, how disappointing." The amount of time I've spent in my life at art schools does not change everybody's hope that miraculously I will make a medical breakthrough. And I appreciate everyone's faith but this is not a thing I have ever pursued so please don't put that on me. I do culture. And nerdy-ass historical research. Put another way, I have never believed it is possible to escape death. All you can do is pass on what you know so someone else can continue the work.
I am also not at all confident I managed to convey to these people how much they have meant to me and influenced me all these years, in the best way. I'm better at these things in writing than in person.
One was "you look great now and who would have believed because you used to be overweight." Which I was not. I was 15 pounds heavier than now, at most. It's more like I was in costume. I deliberately wore baggy clothing because I did not want that kind of attention as a 15 year old. It is dumb it that worked so well or mattered to anybody.
Two was "aw you're so smart we figured you would have cured cancer by now, how disappointing." The amount of time I've spent in my life at art schools does not change everybody's hope that miraculously I will make a medical breakthrough. And I appreciate everyone's faith but this is not a thing I have ever pursued so please don't put that on me. I do culture. And nerdy-ass historical research. Put another way, I have never believed it is possible to escape death. All you can do is pass on what you know so someone else can continue the work.
I am also not at all confident I managed to convey to these people how much they have meant to me and influenced me all these years, in the best way. I'm better at these things in writing than in person.
