The Five Year Plan
Mar. 16th, 2002 03:44 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
rinueAs I may or may not have mentioned, The Parents are in town. Now, it must be understood that I love my family. They raised me right, and we get on durn well. However, the thing that tends to happen when all of us assemble is that the dinner conversation quickly turns into a summit meeting on The Ills Of The Worlde And Howe We Can Fixe Them. The ultimate conclusion is inevitably "Romie should be elected to high office," regardless of whether I like the idea. In fact, my general distaste for such a thing is regarded as a boon to the cause.
Foremost on this visit's agenda was "Romie, please, please, please come back to Oak Cliff because we need you here and anyway you're the only one we trust to change the world by sheer force of will."
This, I thought, was a compelling enough point to deserve contemplation, and it has been refined over the course of the week through elaborate diplomatic negotiations.
Stretch: You love Oak Cliff.
Romie: This is true.
Stretch: In fact, out of everywhere in the world, this is the only place you've ever really called home.
Uncle Rex: Also, Max lives here, who you love more than reason. As if that weren't enough, your wife lives here too.
Romie: America is fucked up, and I don't want a part of it.
Dad: You're carrying a copy of the Constitution in your pocket. I can see it.
Romie: That America doesn't exist anymore. It was a beautiful dream, but it's outdated. The country's too big. The political process has broken down. Corporations are in control. I'm just waiting for the proletariat to rise up.
Mom: And who better to instigate the uprising?
Romie: No.
Uncle Rex: You could live here for free and I'd teach you more banjo licks as well as hypnosis.
Stretch: I would write press releases for you.
Romie: Even if they were inane?
Stretch: Even if they were inane.
Romie: Fair enough, but I still have to get out of the country for a few years until I stop wanting to kill anymore I see with an American flag, because that's no damn good.
Mom: I have to agree with you.
Romie: Will you pay for it?
Dad: No. Get a job.
Romie: I refuse to work for a corporation; I'd rather die.
Dad: Look kid, you keep forgetting that you have expensive tastes.
Romie: (quickly hiding the symphony ticket stubs and gourmet chocolate) I do not. And this doesn't change the fundamental issue.
Uncle Rex: You wouldn't be living in America; you'd be living in Texas.
Romie: Tell that to all the fucking Yanks.
Uncle Rex: Yeah; we should really get rid of them.
Stretch: Hey!
Mom: Well we should.
After the tensions were calmed with a few rounds of Boggle, we settled down into drafting The Five Year Plan. This took many hours of compromise, and there are still some strong points of contention. Dad and I in particular are at loggerheads, (which is not surprising when you consider that we compete over things as miniscule as who can pick the best avocado,) to the point that he was nearly ejected from the discussion.
So here it is: the barebones edition of The Five Year Plan.
Version One:
Summer 2002: I work with the specific aim of making enough money to go to circus school. During this time, I stay rent-free with Uncle Rex. (The Parents are rather mopey about this and keep making counter-offers like higher wages and a pool table.)
2002: I go to Circomedia, in Bristol.
2003: I join the circus and bum around in Europe for a while.
2004: Patrick graduates. Either now or in 2005, I return to Dallas and start a guerilla film & theater troupe. Val and Evan have children, whom I steal.
2005: I infiltrate the Dallas school board with the specific aim of saving the magnet school system, especially Arts Magnet. In my spare time, I antagonize state and local government and demand that the Texas Constitution is rewritten and the Railroad Commission is renamed.
Version 2:
Summer 2002: The $500 Road Trip.
2002: I move the fuck back to Oak Cliff, where I become a negotiator for the US Department of Labor, or a gaffer. In my free time, I'm part of the theater scene, and do upstart puppetry. I try to finish my play and get it put up; I try to finish my novel and get it published. I also harrass the school board.
2003: I continue in the same general vein, saving as much money as I possibly can, for use in 2004, perhaps investing in some coupon bonds.
2004: Patrick graduates. I charm him, Arielle, and Valancy into travelling around the world (or at the very least Europe, since we've got all the major languages covered) Willy Fogg style (which means no cars or airplanes). Upon our return, we buy a house in Kidd Springs.
2005: Val and Evan have children. I get more serious about lobbying the state government and about writing subversive morality plays.
Both plans have their strong points. My mother reccomends an amendment to Version One: "Fall in love quickly and develop a successful romantic relationship so that you're more likely to come back."
I do what I can.
Foremost on this visit's agenda was "Romie, please, please, please come back to Oak Cliff because we need you here and anyway you're the only one we trust to change the world by sheer force of will."
This, I thought, was a compelling enough point to deserve contemplation, and it has been refined over the course of the week through elaborate diplomatic negotiations.
Stretch: You love Oak Cliff.
Romie: This is true.
Stretch: In fact, out of everywhere in the world, this is the only place you've ever really called home.
Uncle Rex: Also, Max lives here, who you love more than reason. As if that weren't enough, your wife lives here too.
Romie: America is fucked up, and I don't want a part of it.
Dad: You're carrying a copy of the Constitution in your pocket. I can see it.
Romie: That America doesn't exist anymore. It was a beautiful dream, but it's outdated. The country's too big. The political process has broken down. Corporations are in control. I'm just waiting for the proletariat to rise up.
Mom: And who better to instigate the uprising?
Romie: No.
Uncle Rex: You could live here for free and I'd teach you more banjo licks as well as hypnosis.
Stretch: I would write press releases for you.
Romie: Even if they were inane?
Stretch: Even if they were inane.
Romie: Fair enough, but I still have to get out of the country for a few years until I stop wanting to kill anymore I see with an American flag, because that's no damn good.
Mom: I have to agree with you.
Romie: Will you pay for it?
Dad: No. Get a job.
Romie: I refuse to work for a corporation; I'd rather die.
Dad: Look kid, you keep forgetting that you have expensive tastes.
Romie: (quickly hiding the symphony ticket stubs and gourmet chocolate) I do not. And this doesn't change the fundamental issue.
Uncle Rex: You wouldn't be living in America; you'd be living in Texas.
Romie: Tell that to all the fucking Yanks.
Uncle Rex: Yeah; we should really get rid of them.
Stretch: Hey!
Mom: Well we should.
After the tensions were calmed with a few rounds of Boggle, we settled down into drafting The Five Year Plan. This took many hours of compromise, and there are still some strong points of contention. Dad and I in particular are at loggerheads, (which is not surprising when you consider that we compete over things as miniscule as who can pick the best avocado,) to the point that he was nearly ejected from the discussion.
So here it is: the barebones edition of The Five Year Plan.
Version One:
Summer 2002: I work with the specific aim of making enough money to go to circus school. During this time, I stay rent-free with Uncle Rex. (The Parents are rather mopey about this and keep making counter-offers like higher wages and a pool table.)
2002: I go to Circomedia, in Bristol.
2003: I join the circus and bum around in Europe for a while.
2004: Patrick graduates. Either now or in 2005, I return to Dallas and start a guerilla film & theater troupe. Val and Evan have children, whom I steal.
2005: I infiltrate the Dallas school board with the specific aim of saving the magnet school system, especially Arts Magnet. In my spare time, I antagonize state and local government and demand that the Texas Constitution is rewritten and the Railroad Commission is renamed.
Version 2:
Summer 2002: The $500 Road Trip.
2002: I move the fuck back to Oak Cliff, where I become a negotiator for the US Department of Labor, or a gaffer. In my free time, I'm part of the theater scene, and do upstart puppetry. I try to finish my play and get it put up; I try to finish my novel and get it published. I also harrass the school board.
2003: I continue in the same general vein, saving as much money as I possibly can, for use in 2004, perhaps investing in some coupon bonds.
2004: Patrick graduates. I charm him, Arielle, and Valancy into travelling around the world (or at the very least Europe, since we've got all the major languages covered) Willy Fogg style (which means no cars or airplanes). Upon our return, we buy a house in Kidd Springs.
2005: Val and Evan have children. I get more serious about lobbying the state government and about writing subversive morality plays.
Both plans have their strong points. My mother reccomends an amendment to Version One: "Fall in love quickly and develop a successful romantic relationship so that you're more likely to come back."
I do what I can.
