Breathing in the old style
Jun. 12th, 2007 12:01 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
rinueIt's been a difficult few days for social interactions. Des came out of the closet as female, which I know was difficult for him to do, and I don't know whether I said the right thing. It's probably not important - my acceptance of the matter was both nonessential and a forgone conclusion. It makes me think about funerals, or that Birgitta's mom is back in the hospital again and I don't know whether it's supportive or cruel to ask after her.
Ciro's hit the decision point on whether to move back to Dallas, with all the attendant difficulties of returning, and limbo, and questions of defeat. It's not my fault, and it is my fault, and I neither know how to make it better or how not to make it worse. Not talk about it, I guess.
I'm mad at Patrick, and I sent an e-mail expressing that I'm mad at Patrick, and I have no clue whether it was appropriate for me to do that. If it was Chad in the same situation, I'd have no trouble knowing. Even if it was REL. But with Patrick I think I'm meant to be supportive and nonjudgemental even though he's acting like an idiot I wouldn't give the time of day if he wasn't storing my stuff. It's embarassing. He's never been an adult, but at least he used to try.
The idea of going back to Dallas scares me, even just to visit. I want to see James and Chad, Summer, Angie, Ed & Ashley. I want to see Val, although I don't know how she's doing - I hear more from her sister. I don't want to see Uncle Rex, who keeps getting angrier. I don't want to see Patrick like he is now. I don't know how Jesse's doing; I don't know how Merlin is. Scarface survived a fight with a coyote; her ear's all torn.
-----
"Everything you've ever done you rationalize, you've given a
purpose. But the truth is you didn't have a fucking clue. You just
ran away. You weren't off to save the war, you just wanted to get out
of town and not deal with your friends or the responsibilities you
had chosen to take on before." - Hermione to Harry, HPSRPG
Ciro's hit the decision point on whether to move back to Dallas, with all the attendant difficulties of returning, and limbo, and questions of defeat. It's not my fault, and it is my fault, and I neither know how to make it better or how not to make it worse. Not talk about it, I guess.
I'm mad at Patrick, and I sent an e-mail expressing that I'm mad at Patrick, and I have no clue whether it was appropriate for me to do that. If it was Chad in the same situation, I'd have no trouble knowing. Even if it was REL. But with Patrick I think I'm meant to be supportive and nonjudgemental even though he's acting like an idiot I wouldn't give the time of day if he wasn't storing my stuff. It's embarassing. He's never been an adult, but at least he used to try.
The idea of going back to Dallas scares me, even just to visit. I want to see James and Chad, Summer, Angie, Ed & Ashley. I want to see Val, although I don't know how she's doing - I hear more from her sister. I don't want to see Uncle Rex, who keeps getting angrier. I don't want to see Patrick like he is now. I don't know how Jesse's doing; I don't know how Merlin is. Scarface survived a fight with a coyote; her ear's all torn.
-----
"Everything you've ever done you rationalize, you've given a
purpose. But the truth is you didn't have a fucking clue. You just
ran away. You weren't off to save the war, you just wanted to get out
of town and not deal with your friends or the responsibilities you
had chosen to take on before." - Hermione to Harry, HPSRPG
