Kaftan Update: Never Going Back

I have, to this point, spilled on the kaftan or accidentally dipped the kaftan into:

red wine
raspberries
blood
oil
salad dressing containing multiple oils plus vinegar and spices
mud
shit

In each case, all I have had to do is dab the kaftan gently with a damp cloth and it all comes off with no stain and no smell. The kaftan dries almost immediately. I don't even have to remove the kaftan during this process.

What have I been doing messing around with natural fibers all these years? Polyester forever.