Feeling exploratory but not adventurous

Woke up many hours early after not much sleep so that Ciro and I could go to the laundromat before I left for work. (The joys of a single car and driver and six loads of laundry.) This was exciting for two reasons: I like laundromats and haven't been to a proper one in more than a decade, and we had a months-long backload of laundry thanks to a washing machine breakdown, so that for the past three months or more we've had a cabinet full of dirty towels, dirty bedsheets, and dirty out-of-season clothes while we did emergency "socks and t-shirts" loads at the homes of friends and relatives while we worked on projects for or with friends and relatives. It was a relief to watch many, many pounds of fabric pass through multiple simultaneous industrial-strength machines, although I myself was at the garage down the street for most of it, getting an emissions inspection.

I am only awake thanks to many cups of coffee. I would take speed if it was available. I ate a moon pie for breakfast, despite not liking moon pies much, on the grounds I could get it at the gas station at the first shelf after I walked in. I packed a lunch that was as low effort as possible: open tin of sardines; eat with fork. Cut avocado open; eat with spoon. Piece of bread with indifferently sliced cheese.

So tired. So jangly and tired.

Had a nice dinner with Amber and Jeremy last night; watched each other's films and sat out on the roof wrapped in blankets and drinking wine. Otherwise, the day was mostly errands, with a small sliver of time carved out to sit on the couch with Ciro, reading books and drinking tea. Wrote a bit of a poem I'm still tinkering with. Poems are things I can manage when I don't have time or space, although I wonder if they aren't a bit pointless to other people. Aside from me and Ciro, I don't know anyone who reads poetry. I don't know whether even the poets I read read poetry. I should like to find out more about people; I hope this does not backfire.

Oh Sara Crewe You Silly

Things I like right now:

1. Sunflower seed bread
2. White strand lights
3. My Chinese red teacup
4. Putting my hand on someone's arm
5. Lemon yellow eyeliner
6. Pigment
7. The Boston Globe
8. Imagining being surrounded by beautiful things and excellent food in my Massachusetts attic, which is a little bit too A Little Princess for me to be wholly uncynical about the likelihood of it coming together as desired, but I will do my best to make a safe space, and am after all a visual artist and occasional set-builder capable of manifesting that sort of transformation without need of a mysterious Lascar patron.

I am also looking forward to all sorts of wintry things, despite not having been a pro-winter person for most of my life. But I want heaters and blankets and mulled wine and board games and quiet parties with the church choir. Ciro and I both agree that although he needs to hit the ground running in Boston, I should probably have a break until 2011, until which time I'm allowed to be reclusive and unambitious.