a general unconsciousness that is the undeniable common inheritance of all mankind

Monday:

Crippling depression. Slept as much of the day as I could. Left phone ringer off mostly by accident. Pulled it together in the evening and invited Merlin over to watch further episodes of The Prisoner. He loaned me Smile (A Dental Drama), a young adult graphic novel I finished the same evening. I recommend it. I also did some kakuro puzzles.

Tuesday:

Mostly out of depressive episode, but still very tired despite a great deal of sleep.

Rehearsal and casting decisions, along with grocery shopping and the making of banana muffins. The grocery store near me sells good lamb very cheaply; I am still surprised to find lamb at all, and think I must always have misremembered the price. Rehearsal is proceeding smoothly. Casting decisions likewise. Ran into Alex at the supermarket and was told in no uncertain terms that he would like to volunteer for the shoot, assuming his calendar stays clear, which may mean I've rounded out my top-grade lighting crew. On the other hand, arrival of my DP delayed due to forces beyond his control; will still have production meeting on Sunday to nail down shooting schedule. Thank goodness for Skype.

Ciro has been working very hard to prep all the films for this Saturday's film festival at the Hub. (He's the print traffic manager, although I don't know that they know that's what he's doing or will credit him accordingly. They're theater people and this is their first foray into film screenings.) Both "The Sleeping People" and "Us Minus" will be showing, and they're the strongest films of the lot, which is partly a reflection of the dearth of narrative filmmakers in Dallas, or financiers of same.

Lots of other work, mostly e-mails back and forth on various projects, and a certain volume of dishes that had to be done. I feel almost sick that I have to go back to work tomorrow, although I suppose it is something like my vacation. I like to think that sometime in the future my life won't be divided against itself, but that day is not now.

nothing will be all right until I have vast wealth and influence, and maybe not then

I have so many balls in the air right now that I react with extreme and instant rage when something that should be easy is hard, and that has been my whole day at work. My bosses are both out today, and an employee from another office made a somewhat nonsensical power play in their absence during what should have been a routine task. Even in the best of times, I don't take it lightly when someone attempts to use me as a pawn, so there went most of my day, since launching my full "you have roused a sleeping giant and must never make this mistake again" offense roughly translates to DOCUMENT LIEK WHOA.

Aside from that, I got to be miserable because I have to update my life insurance policy, and since I have no idea where I'm likely to live even months in the future, what I need is to put down my permanent address: my parents' house, since they don't plan to move for decades. However, as I detailed some months ago, the Winchester post office "helpfully" does not deliver my mail there if they don't think I'm physically in the house (and they are often wrong in their guesses, which makes mail service especially erratic). So for many legal purposes, I don't exist.

The only thing I have going for me is that I suspect nobody else in the world shares a name with me, living or dead, so it would be a hard sell to claim the contract was signed by someone who coincidentally. . .

I need a room somewhere with a secretary whose only job is to deal with my correspondence and make sure the important stuff gets to me wherever I am, and the crap doesn't. A human spam filter, basically. I know several people I'd love to hire for this job; I just need to make a few times my current salary so I can do it. I care about that much more than a beach house, private jet, club membership, etc. They wouldn't even have to move; it would sort of be a rule that they wouldn't.

Not that I'd need any of that if it weren't for the asinine policies of the Winchester post office. Maybe what I really need is an introduction to Barney Frank, who would maybe be amused to make a big deal about this. It's not Frank's district, but I don't think Markey could throw the same level of fit.

Everybody Dies

Great, I needed this as well. Aside from my films showing at the Hub on Saturday, other films will, surprise, be shown at the MAC at the same time, which I just found out and can't attend, but also I now have to go into mild legal defense mode, possibly soon to be upgraded to Extreme Legal Defense Mode, because:

1. Nobody asked me if they could show my film, and
2. IT IS NOT MY FILM. They're crediting me, and it's not my film. It's a film very similar to a film of mine, but it's been re-edited, the sound track has been changed, and MY NAME IS STILL ON IT AS EDITOR AND DIRECTOR.

Fucking Christ. I'd rather be plagiarized than mis-credited, especially given that I quite like my film and throughly abhor the altered one. And this is the third time I have had to go to the mattresses to block this recut, which is sort of "Happy Ending to Brazil" equivalent in terms of grossness. Why why why why why why why does this shit happen to me constantly.

I can of course bring to bear the full force of three different powerful legal entitites who also have a stake in the film, but honestly I'd rather let people have their film festival, just with the real film (even though they haven't secured the rights, which is what will get it blocked the second I e-mail the aforementioned powerful legal entitites). If it comes down to it, I'm fine with the film not showing, and I'm willing to lose friends over it. It would just be nice if I didn't have to.