Further Adventures in Trollery

I just ran into a new right wing troll strategy.

Troll: [says something provocative that is not sourced]

Romie: I suspect you heard that from [this person], who as far as anyone can tell made it up and then repeated it in a number of publications and public speaking engagements (which were then aired because they were provocative). Here is an article on what actually happened from a magazine whose journalism I know you respect, which has strong libertarian politics and which would love to publish the thing you said but who discovered through their research it was not true.

Troll: I subscribe to that magazine, so I'm not going to read the article. I'm sure it says [Same provacative unsourced thing, no attribution beyond "I don't recognize the name of the person I am directly quoting" (who is clearly the person Romie mentioned).]

This is great. I no longer have to read anything. As long as I own it - and I consider myself to own the Internet - I can assume it affirms whatever I want to be true. And even if it doesn't, you see, I own it. I now have a medical degree because I own several immunology textbooks. I have not read them - I've barely looked at the pictures and I mostly keep the books around to use as props - but please come to me for all your medical advice henceforth.

The iPad is Risen, and it looks like a Lava Lamp

I don't have an iPhone -- I don't have the money, and I have a low tolerance for mobile devices in general -- but I get the iPhone. It's a little computer you can carry around, very much like the one Penny has in Inspector Gadget. You can call people and look at maps and google things and play games when you are bored. That is a pretty ideal state of affairs, although obviously restricted by battery life, cell phone service, etc. I grok iTunes and Final Cut, too; I may not like them personally -- they may not meet my needs -- but that doesn't mean they aren't ideal for people who are not me.

iPad fever -- I do not get it. It's a screen. You can look at pictures on it, just like on another screen. You can watch videos just like on another screen. It's remarkable because . . . it doesn't have a keyboard, a usb port, or any of the other tools I use when interacting with other screens? And I can carry it around with me, but it's bigger than an iPhone or a netbook? And it costs a ton more?

I come not to bury touch screens, but -- I come to bury touch screens. When I want to write something, I don't finger paint; I pick up a tool, whether it's a pencil or a keyboard. When I cook, I use knives and spoons. I sew with a needle. I get a lot more precision that way. I find touch displays clumsy and frustrating, however sensitive. In some cases, the sensitivity itself is a drawback. It would be one thing if the screen was tactile, if it gave me sensory feedback, but instead I'm having to put my fingers right in the way of the thing I'm trying to look at. This feels a lot like the 3D fad, only even more mystifyingly fad like. Pet Rocks and Hula Hoops were not this expensive.