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Fully Operational Battlestation
Aug. 26th, 2008 03:41 pm(in which Romie does not get the things she wants)
or: I'm Out of It for a Little While and Everyone Gets Deductions of Grandeur
or: "So then we went to the shoestore to buy some sneakers. Anthony chose white ones with blue stripes. Nick chose red ones with white stripes. I chose blue ones with red stripes but then the shoe man said, We’re all sold out. They made me buy plain old white ones, but they can’t make me wear them."
or: Erranding - You Are Doing It Wrong
I tried to go shopping, but none of the things I want exist anymore.
Clinique has stopped making both my lipstick and my powder. They tried to convince me that a gloss is an acceptable substitute for a sheer lipstick, and that a tinted loose powder is the same as a white iridescent shimmer, but I am no kind of fool.
Urban Decay doesn't make nail polish now. At all. Even though they started out as a nail polish company. They tried to get me to buy hard candy, which they have taken over, but it's an inferior enamel with an exceptionally narrow color range. Where is your punk credibility, Urban Decay? What has happened?
Worst of all, Victoria's Secret has discontinued my bra, and replaced it with things that either divide each breast in half vertically, or which have little caterpillar shaped thumbs of padding that somehow make my breasts look smaller (wtf?).
This means I'm going to have to spend the next three months or so going to stores I don't like and trying on things that either don't work or don't work and look like orthopedic devices. It's exhausting just to think about. It occurred to me that if I could forego menstruation or forego bra shopping, I might go with bra shopping. Good bras are necessary rather than luxurious when you are a D cup, and most people do not seem interested in designing good bras. Instead, one gets either boob decoration or full breast restraint. During these times, I feel that there is some kind of war against breasts, waged by people who think that all chests should be either reduced or enlarged regardless of their starting size.
Maybe I could do one boob one way and one the other. Maybe I can get Grace Jones to appear in the print ads.
I'm not even going to start in on the way the only mall I like has been destroyed, twisted, turned into something evil.
I realize I am not the ideal consumer on the surface. Nevertheless, I am loyal to products I like, and I promote them to other people. Which does no good to your brand if you stop making the things that define you. Honda, you are on notice. You haven't done anything bad, but I like you, and have driven your cars exclusively, so I am sure you are thinking about it. And this year, you did stop making the Civic in Roma Red, even though it is the best red and nobody cool wants to drive a burgundy car.
or: I'm Out of It for a Little While and Everyone Gets Deductions of Grandeur
or: "So then we went to the shoestore to buy some sneakers. Anthony chose white ones with blue stripes. Nick chose red ones with white stripes. I chose blue ones with red stripes but then the shoe man said, We’re all sold out. They made me buy plain old white ones, but they can’t make me wear them."
or: Erranding - You Are Doing It Wrong
I tried to go shopping, but none of the things I want exist anymore.
Clinique has stopped making both my lipstick and my powder. They tried to convince me that a gloss is an acceptable substitute for a sheer lipstick, and that a tinted loose powder is the same as a white iridescent shimmer, but I am no kind of fool.
Urban Decay doesn't make nail polish now. At all. Even though they started out as a nail polish company. They tried to get me to buy hard candy, which they have taken over, but it's an inferior enamel with an exceptionally narrow color range. Where is your punk credibility, Urban Decay? What has happened?
Worst of all, Victoria's Secret has discontinued my bra, and replaced it with things that either divide each breast in half vertically, or which have little caterpillar shaped thumbs of padding that somehow make my breasts look smaller (wtf?).
This means I'm going to have to spend the next three months or so going to stores I don't like and trying on things that either don't work or don't work and look like orthopedic devices. It's exhausting just to think about. It occurred to me that if I could forego menstruation or forego bra shopping, I might go with bra shopping. Good bras are necessary rather than luxurious when you are a D cup, and most people do not seem interested in designing good bras. Instead, one gets either boob decoration or full breast restraint. During these times, I feel that there is some kind of war against breasts, waged by people who think that all chests should be either reduced or enlarged regardless of their starting size.
Maybe I could do one boob one way and one the other. Maybe I can get Grace Jones to appear in the print ads.
I'm not even going to start in on the way the only mall I like has been destroyed, twisted, turned into something evil.
I realize I am not the ideal consumer on the surface. Nevertheless, I am loyal to products I like, and I promote them to other people. Which does no good to your brand if you stop making the things that define you. Honda, you are on notice. You haven't done anything bad, but I like you, and have driven your cars exclusively, so I am sure you are thinking about it. And this year, you did stop making the Civic in Roma Red, even though it is the best red and nobody cool wants to drive a burgundy car.
