Poll

Q. Would you rather lose the use of your arms or have a horribly disfigured face?

Romie's A. I'm a puppeteer, a musician, and a writer. I need my hands.

Jamie's A. I'm a teacher; I need my face.

Conspiraspy

Yesterday, I showed Jamie the finer sites of Massachusetts Bay. Namely, we went to "The Museum of Our National Heritage" off highway 2A, in Lexington.

It is a museum which I find largely inscrutable. Currently, the two main exhibits are "The history of the banjo" and "A retrospective on milk delivery men in New England." The latter exhibit featured, among other things, an electronic cow from which water could be milked. In the gift shop, we managed to purchase a Fredrick Douglass hand puppet. (Live in envy.)

The only plausible explanation is that the museum is a front. I know it's run by the Masons -- they're quite blatant about it. Some day, I will plumb the museum for its sinister secrets.