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The Sound and the Fury
Aug. 10th, 2001 09:55 pmSpecial K:
(1) Ketamine hydrochloride, (trade name "Ketalar",) an animal tranquilizer first synthesized in 1962 which is also used as a street drug in the same class as phencyclidine (PCP) and dextromethorphan (DXM). [see "dissaociative anaesthetics".] When sniffed, smoked, or injected, it produces hallucinations accompanied by depressed respiration and circulatory function, leading to an "out of body" or "near death" experience. A tasteless powder, it has been termed the "date rape" drug because it often induces amnesia. Potentially damaging in small doses because a user feels no pain; this often leads to suicide. Long term effects unkown, but may include mild schizophrenia. Potentially fatal in large doses due to cardiovascular failure. Not physically addicting, but a strong psychological addiction is common. Tolerance builds very quickly, and a high lasts only 0.5-2 hours.
(2) Cocktails of MDMA or MDA (Ecstasy) and LSD, usually in gel cap form.
(3) Ketamine combined with Ecstasy, heroin, or cocaine. Takes the form of a small white tablet sometimes mistaken for Ecstasy.
My friend is trying to kill himself, although I doubt he'd admit it if you asked him. This is part of a long and drawn out pattern that I find myself incapable of fighting.
He was abused and/or neglected as a child. He's never told me this, but I've spent too much time around him and his family not to notice. I don't know that it was his parents -- I'm fairly certain that it happened before I met him, and I suspect it occurred at a daycare facility. Of course, it *could* be his parents; I acknowledge my bias on this subject because I am almost a part of the family myself.
Ever since then, he's worked very hard to stop actually existing. Inevitably, this is defeated by the fact that he likes people too much and moreover is a storyteller.
In sixth grade, he was extremely antisocial. Seventh and eighth, he maintained a very active fantasy life -- constantly reading and pretending. Ninth grade, he threw himself into music and dated a series of faceless and interchangeable girls. Tenth and eleventh grade, he settled down with an abusive girlfriend who forbade him from speaking to any of his friends (which he thankfully ignored). At this time, he also began drinking very heavily in order to get drunk (as distinguished from social or casual drinking).
Twelth grade, he started smoking marujana in order to get so stoned he couldn't remember anything (as distinguised once again from social or casual use). This continued Freshman year, and got him thrown out of school. Now, apparently, he has moved on to harder stuff.
He promises to quit when he turns 21, and the weird part is that I believe him. I just don't think he'll live that long. He's never been one for moderation and knowing his limits, and he wants death too much.
So I am incredibly angry. Suicide makes me incredibly angry. It's selfish, and I want to scream "what about me, you bastard" but I doubt this would make any difference at all.
(1) Ketamine hydrochloride, (trade name "Ketalar",) an animal tranquilizer first synthesized in 1962 which is also used as a street drug in the same class as phencyclidine (PCP) and dextromethorphan (DXM). [see "dissaociative anaesthetics".] When sniffed, smoked, or injected, it produces hallucinations accompanied by depressed respiration and circulatory function, leading to an "out of body" or "near death" experience. A tasteless powder, it has been termed the "date rape" drug because it often induces amnesia. Potentially damaging in small doses because a user feels no pain; this often leads to suicide. Long term effects unkown, but may include mild schizophrenia. Potentially fatal in large doses due to cardiovascular failure. Not physically addicting, but a strong psychological addiction is common. Tolerance builds very quickly, and a high lasts only 0.5-2 hours.
(2) Cocktails of MDMA or MDA (Ecstasy) and LSD, usually in gel cap form.
(3) Ketamine combined with Ecstasy, heroin, or cocaine. Takes the form of a small white tablet sometimes mistaken for Ecstasy.
My friend is trying to kill himself, although I doubt he'd admit it if you asked him. This is part of a long and drawn out pattern that I find myself incapable of fighting.
He was abused and/or neglected as a child. He's never told me this, but I've spent too much time around him and his family not to notice. I don't know that it was his parents -- I'm fairly certain that it happened before I met him, and I suspect it occurred at a daycare facility. Of course, it *could* be his parents; I acknowledge my bias on this subject because I am almost a part of the family myself.
Ever since then, he's worked very hard to stop actually existing. Inevitably, this is defeated by the fact that he likes people too much and moreover is a storyteller.
In sixth grade, he was extremely antisocial. Seventh and eighth, he maintained a very active fantasy life -- constantly reading and pretending. Ninth grade, he threw himself into music and dated a series of faceless and interchangeable girls. Tenth and eleventh grade, he settled down with an abusive girlfriend who forbade him from speaking to any of his friends (which he thankfully ignored). At this time, he also began drinking very heavily in order to get drunk (as distinguished from social or casual drinking).
Twelth grade, he started smoking marujana in order to get so stoned he couldn't remember anything (as distinguised once again from social or casual use). This continued Freshman year, and got him thrown out of school. Now, apparently, he has moved on to harder stuff.
He promises to quit when he turns 21, and the weird part is that I believe him. I just don't think he'll live that long. He's never been one for moderation and knowing his limits, and he wants death too much.
So I am incredibly angry. Suicide makes me incredibly angry. It's selfish, and I want to scream "what about me, you bastard" but I doubt this would make any difference at all.
