rinue | Thinking Out Loud

Many people believe geekdom is defined by a love of a thing, but I think — and my experience of geekdom bears on this thinking — that the true sign of a geek is a delight in sharing a thing. It’s the major difference between a geek and a hipster, you know: When a hipster sees someone else grooving on the thing they love, their reaction is to say “Oh, crap, now the wrong people like the thing I love.” When a geek sees someone else grooving on the thing they love, their reaction is to say “ZOMG YOU LOVE WHAT I LOVE COME WITH ME AND LET US LOVE IT TOGETHER.”

Any jerk can love a thing. It’s the sharing that makes geekdom awesome.

Nice job, Scalzi. Nice job.

This is from half a year ago, part of the "girl geeks aren't real" flap that for some reason won't go away and which I find terribly boring. I find the above quote more interesting as a description of geekdom and a description of hipsterism, both of which tend to be poorly defined, and both of which, I think, have a place and are not exactly antithetical.

I predictably sit somewhere in the hipster-geek borderland.

For instance, I don't care much whether the things I like are mainstream or obscure, and am often interested to see them move from one category to the other. (Example: Harry Potter is definitively mainstream, but my involvement with alternate history fan timelines was definitely obscure. Example: Many obscure bands I like, I like because of how they were used in popular movie soundtracks. I make no effort to hide this.)

At the same time, whether or not I adverise my love for something is influenced by the character of the fandom around it, not only because of how I want to appear, but because of who I do and don't want to interact with. For instance, I actually like the poetry of Charles Bukowski. I do not want Bukowski fans to talk to me about it, and do not enjoy the poetry of Bukowski imitators. In other words, my participation in fandom is not about my level of affection for the source material; it's about my level of affection for the culture of the fandom.

I will take a second look at work I dislike that people I respect love, although this doesn't necessarily change my lack of interest in it (see: Doctor Who, Downton Abbey, Mad Men, Breaking Bad, The Sopranos, Jack Kerouack, Muse, Goonies). I will also take a second look at stuff I like that people I respect think is terrible (Canasta and The Mighty Ducks are the only things that leap to mind immediately, but I'm sure there are others. A big part of my life involves making my obsessive interests seem less tedious to other people.)

I guess what I'm saying here is that although I like Scalzi's response and think it is exactly the right response for the head of the SFWA to make, and although I applaud him for it, I think a lot of the response to the "geek girls aren't real" bit tries to deny that geekdom is tribal. Geekdom is tribal. It does involve complex signaling behavior, and it is frustrating when people who make you nervous want to hang out in the space where you relax.

It's just inaccurate to assume the people who make you nervous are there because they are preying on you and like to make you nervous, or that you have more right to relax than they do.* (Although it's pretty funny to think of "relaxed" as the main descriptor of a girl trying to conform to beauty standards.) If your aim is to get back to "relaxed and comfortable," starting a war is probably not going to get you there. Attacking to get to peace doesn't even work in strategic board games. Form an alliance, know what I'm saying?

It's equally innacurate to assume that people who aren't geeks have another space elsewhere, where they are accepted and lauded and fit in perfectly. Nobody has that space. Nobody I know. The fact that you ever had one was a bizarre and incredible privilege. Stop acting like New Yorkers or Baby Boomers and accept that your life is/was weird as hell and is not what you and everyone else should expect/deserve.

But Scalzi's geekdom is I think the utopian geekdom, and even if it's not an accurate description of what we are, it's a good stab at what we should try to be. I'd like to visit, at least.

* Sometimes, people are preying on you, and those people are assholes and I agree they need to go. The big clue is, for instance, they follow you when you try to leave, or they keep touching you or talking to you when you tell them it frightens you, and in fact try to touch you and talk to you more. However, showing belly skin is not preying on you, grunting when lifting a heavy weight is not preying on you, making misspelled twitter posts is not preying on you, and wanting to buy the same thing you want to buy is not preying on you.

Thinking Out Loud

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